A Ffunny Sstory A funny story

You wouldn’t normally capitalise every word in the title

One day, while a beautiful young lady walkeds walking on the street, one of her shoes broke. One day, while a beautiful young lady was walking on the street, one of her shoes broke.

One day, while a beautiful young lady walked s walking along the street, one of her shoes broke. One day, while a beautiful young lady was walking along the street, one of her shoes broke.

One day, while a beautiful young lady walked on the street, one of her shoes broke. One day, while a beautiful young lady walked on the street, one of her shoes broke.

Usage note on the word "broke": If you're talking about a shoe made of leather or fabric, then the word "broke" sounds a little off, and I'll explain why. Usually when we say something "broke," we're talking about a solid object. So we'd say, "the glass broke when I dropped it," "I broke my pencil in half," or "the rocket broke up in the Earth's atmosphere." But if we're talking about a more pliable object — something that can be bent without breaking like paper, fabric, or leather — we'd be more likely to say it was "torn" or "cut." So it would be natural to say "I cut the paper in half" or "my shirt was torn on the branches," but a little unnatural to say "I broke the paper in half" or "my shirt broke on the branches." Returning to your example: if the shoe is made of leather, then it's pliable. The shoe wouldn't break if you threw it out the window. So the idea of the shoe having "broken" is a little strange. More likely you'd say "my shoe fell apart," or "my shoe came apart," or even "my shoe was torn apart." If the shoe is made of a hard material like wood that could be be broken by a sudden impact, then by all means, say the shoe "broke!" I hope that makes sense!

One day, while a beautiful young lady was walkeding on the street, when one of her shoes broke. One day, a beautiful young lady was walking on the street, when one of her shoes broke.

Grammar was fine in original sentence, but I changed tense to present to suit the story-telling voice.

One day, while a beautiful young lady walked s walking along the street, one of her shoes broke. One day, while a beautiful young lady was walking along the street, one of her shoes broke.

She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask (people) for help, but she was embarrassed to ask for it. She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask (people) for help, but she was embarrassed to.

She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was embarrassed to ask for it. She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was embarrassed to ask.

She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was too embarrassed to ask for it. She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was too embarrassed to ask for it.

Using an adverb ("too" in this case) would be the correct way to go about this kind of clause. For example: "too X to Y," "more X than Y," or "less X than Y." In this case, "... too embarrassed to ask..."

She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was too embarrassed to ask for it. She stood on the street with her shoe in her right hand and wanted to ask people for help, but she was too embarrassed to ask for it.

Many people walkedere walking on the street and didn’t notice that she had thewas in trouble. Many people were walking on the street and didn’t notice that she was in trouble.

Many people walkedpassed her on the street and didn’t notice that she had the trouble. Many people passed her on the street and didn’t notice that she had trouble.

or "that she was having trouble"

Many people walked on the streetby and didn’t notice that she had the trouble. Many people walked by and didn’t notice that she had trouble.

1. It is understandable already, but, "by" or "past" would be better than "on the street," because the subject of the story is the woman. This change improves clarity. 2. Removed "the" before "trouble" because it is incorrect.

Many people walked passed her on the street and didn’t notice that she had the troubleher predicament. Many people walked passed her on the street and didn’t notice her predicament.

"She had the trouble" doesn't work grammatically; you could correct it to "didn't notice that she was in trouble" but to "be in trouble" feels more serious than something like this awkward situation, so I replaced it with "predicament".

Many people walkedpassed her on the street andbut didn’t notice that she had thewas having trouble. Many people passed her on the street but didn’t notice that she was having trouble.

At that time,Then a man walked by and noticed that the lady was in need of help. Then a man walked by and noticed that the lady was in need of help.

At that time, a man walked by and noticed that the lady was in need of help. At that time, a man walked by and noticed that the lady was in need of help.

It would be better to say "then" rather than "At that time"

After he gotmade eye contact with the lady, he made up his mindecided to help her, but he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, s. So he changed his mind and stoppedbout helping the young lady and walked away. After he made eye contact with the lady, he decided to help her, but he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year. So he changed his mind about helping the young lady and walked away.

After he gotmade eye contact with the lady, he made up his minr, he decided to help her, b. But he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by womean this year, so he changed his mind and stopped helping the young lady and walked away. After he made eye contact with her, he decided to help her. But he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by woman this year, so he changed his mind and stopped helping the young lady and walked away.

After he got eye contact with the ladysaw her, he made up his mind to help her, b. But he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, so. So, he changed his mind and stopped helping the young ladydecided not to help her and walked away. After he saw her, he made up his mind to help her. But he suddenly recalled that days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year. So, he changed his mind and decided not to help her and walked away.

This is called a "run-on sentence." Remember to use periods for clarity. Pro Tip: Period --> "Periodically" or "here and there" --> So, remember to use periods here and there.

After he gotmade eye contact with the lady, he made up his mind to help her, but he suddenly recalled that a few days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, so he changed his mind and stopped helping the young lady and walked away. After he made eye contact with the lady, he made up his mind to help her, but he suddenly recalled that a few days ago, a fortune teller told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, so he changed his mind and walked away.

A little unclear; was he in the middle of helping her then changed his mind, or did he change his mind before going over? It's a bit of a run-on sentence, so I just removed the part that said "stopped helping" since it felt redundant.

After he gotmade eye contact with the lady, he made up his mind to help her, but he suddenly recalled that days [ago | earlier], a fortune teller (had) told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, so he changed his mind (and stopped helping the young lady) and walked away. After he made eye contact with the lady, he made up his mind to help her, but he suddenly recalled that days [ago | earlier], a fortune teller (had) told him that he would be deeply hurt by women this year, so he changed his mind (and stopped helping the young lady) and walked away.

“Stopped helping the lady” doesn’t make sense because he never started helping her, he’d only DECIDED to help her.

After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter right hitknocked him down ton the ground. After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter knocked him down to the ground.

After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter right hit him down onto the ground. After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter hit him to the ground.

After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter right hit him down ton the ground. After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter hit him down to the ground.

After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter right hit him right down ton the ground. After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter hit him right down to the ground.

After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter right hit him down on, knocking him to the ground. After he walked only a few steps away, an old woman riding a scooter hit him, knocking him to the ground.

The old woman asked him in panic, "Did I hurt you deepAre you hurt badly ?" The old woman asked him in panic, "Are you hurt badly ?"

The old woman asked him in panic, "Did I hurt you deeplAre you okay?" The old woman asked him in panic, "Are you okay?"

"Did I hurt you deeply" is grammatically okay but it sounds a little strange

The old woman asked him in a panic, "Did I hurt you deepbadly?" The old woman asked him in a panic, "Did I hurt you badly?"

“Deeply” is the wrong adverb in this context. “Are you hurt badly?” or simply “Are you hurt?” would be more idiomatic.

The people who saw this andincident ran to the man shouted ato the old woman, "isn't that bad yetthat is very bad? The people who saw this incident ran to the man shouted at the old woman, "that is very bad?

The people who saw this ande accident/incident ran to the man shouted to the old woman, "iIsn't that bad yet? The people who saw the accident/incident ran to the man shouted to the old woman, "Isn't that bad?

The people who saw this and, ran to the man and shouted to the old woman, "isn't that bad yet?Is it bad already?" The people who saw this, ran to the man and shouted to the old woman, "Is it bad already?"

The people who saw thiSome onlookers rand ran over to the man and shouted ato the old woman, "isn't that bad yet?This is terrible!" Some onlookers ran over to the man and shouted at the old woman, "This is terrible!"

Not sure what was meant by "Isn't that bad yet?"

The people who saw this and ran to the man shouted to the old woman, "isn't that bad yet? The people who saw this and ran to the man shouted to the old woman, "isn't that bad yet?

“Isn’t that bad yet” doesn’t make sense. What are you trying to say?

You hurt him too deeplya lot!" You hurt him a lot!"

You hurt him too deeply!" You hurt him deeply!"

They continued, "You hurt him too deeply!" They continued, "You hurt him too deeply!"

You hurt him too deeply"Look how deeply you hurt him!" "Look how deeply you hurt him!"

The man wailed (and said), "Oh, women!" The man wailed (and said), "Oh, women!"

“and said” isn’t necessary