21/05 Education vs jthe Job mMarket: aAnother oOpinion eEssay :)

Capitalisation since it’s a title and ‘the…’ sounds a little more formal and grammatically correct

Givingen the current labor market, where many young workers struggle to find a job, some people start thinking that the main problem can beis the chosen field of study.

Some argue that students should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but baseinstead on the kinds of jobs they can getavailable jobs.

I think it sounds a little more formal like this but your original sentence was good too.

Although I agree that students have toshould/must adapt to the labor market, I also think that education is not only for preparingdoes more than prepare students for the workplace.

First correction (should/must) is for conciseness/formality.
Second correction (mass rewording) is mainly for clarification as the original sentence didn’t make complete sense.

Firstly, students should find a career that they enjoy and haoffers professional opportunities; that is because being, as unemployedment would make them unhappy, the samejust as unhappy as working forin a job they hate.

Mainly just for formality

Students should be able to balance these two points of viewerspectives/aspects.

Formality

For instance, my sister is an artist and is currently working as a UX designer,. This is an example of a career that mixed her interest and a high demand job.

Clarification

SecondlyFurthermore/Moreover, universities have to restructure their curriculums, mixing up demandingoffering a variety of both hard and soft skills.

Formality

Even though, critical thinking and good argumentation are very importantessential soft skills, a degree in literature or philosophy ihas very low demanded.

Mainly formality. No need for a comma after even though. “Is low demanded” doesn’t really make sense, and something like “has low demand” is more commonly used.

Students of those careers require some hard skills, and the opposite is also the case.

“Those” should be followed by a plural

In conclusion, students should find a career that they not only enjoy, but also it is aligneds with the labor market.

Formality. If you wanted to stick with something closer to the original sentence then you would remove the it in “but also it is aligned…”

Additionally/In addition to this, universities have to better prepare undergraduates better by offering majors with a mixed of soft and hard skills.

Sounds a little more natural like this. Also mixed, unless I’m forgetting something, is only ever used in the past tense so you would use mix. If you wanted to switch up the vocabulary a little you could also replace mix with variety or varied selection.

21/05 Education vs jJob mMarket: aAnother oOpinion eEssay :)

Titles with capitalized letters look better

Givingen the current labor market, where many young workers struggle to find a job, some people have started thinking that the main problem can be the chosen field of study.

"Given ..., " is what I think you meant here.
Some people (have) start(ed) thinking (verb tense error)

Even though, critical thinking and good argumentation are very important soft skills, a degree in literature or philosophy ishas a very low demanded.

No need for a comma here
More natural to say "it has a low demand" than "it is lowely demanded"

Givingen the current labor market, where many young workers struggle to find a job, some people are starting to thinking that the main problem can be the chosenis the field of study.

Firstly, students should find a career that they enjoy and that has professional opportunities; that. This is because although being unemployed would make them unhappy, the same asso would working for a job they hate.

Secondly, universities have to restructure their curriculumsa, mixing up in-demanding hard and soft skills.

Even though, critical thinking and good argumentation are very important soft skills, a degree in literature or philosophy ihas very low demanded.

Students of those career requires need some hard skills, and the opposite is also the case.

'require' is usually used when there's some concrete objective/purpose stated, e.g. "The application requires two recommendation letters" vs "I need two recommendation letters"

In conclusion, students should find a career that they enjoy, but also it is aligned with the labor market.

In addition, universities have to prepare undergraduates better by offering majors with a mixed of soft and hard skills.