2021/07/10

最近，我在看一本日本漫畫，叫《藍色時期》。主角是一位高中生，在考入大學一年前發現自己對畫畫有興趣，想上藝術大學繼續學習。雖然他比別人遲了多才開始，可是沒有放棄，而且非常努力。他的恆心我非常佩服。我還沒看完，不知道他是否成功，不過這本漫畫讓我想起了自己上藝術大學的經驗。

在藝大，比我更有才華的人有很多。雖然我的作品有進步，可是沒有夢想中那麼多。當時覺得自己永遠都追不上人家，打擊極大，所以情緒很低落。畢業後，我整整一年沒有畫畫。我根本沒有本事，要是繼續追求畫家夢也沒有前途。

當疫情爆發時，我在工作的商場必須關門。整天待在家裏有些無聊，所以我又開始畫畫了。我發現過去自己太悲觀了，其實不用放棄，如果繼續努力練習，一定會有收穫。現在，我每天下班後都花一段時間畫畫，而且還會專注於自己不擅長的方面來練習。

我不知道將來對從事藝術工作有沒有興趣。當畫家的命很苦，要是做自僱的話，收入不穩定，又沒有員工福利。如果把畫畫當成愛好，就輕鬆多了。不過，想得太遠無意義，現在覺得有意思就行了。

Lately, I've been reading a manga series called Blue Period. The main character is a high school student who realizes he's interest in art and wants to go to art school. Although he starts later than everyone else, he doesn't give up and works very hard. I really admire his perseverance. I still haven't finish the series and don't know if he succeeds, but the story reminds me of my own art school experience.

In art school, there are a lot of students who were more talented than me. Although my work improved, it wasn't as much as I had hoped. At the time, I thought I'll never catch up to everyone else. I took it very hard and became depressed. After I graduated, I didn't draw for a whole year. Since I wasn't talented enough, I would never have a future pursuing a career in illustration.

When the pandemic started, the shopping mall I worked at had to close. I got bored from being stuck inside the house all day so I started drawing again. I realized I was too pessimistic. I don't need to give up. If I continue to practice and work hard, I'll definitely improve. Nowadays, I always take some time after work to draw. I also force myself to practice areas I'm not good on.

I'm not sure if I still want to pursue illustration as a career. Being an illustrator is very hard if you're doing freelance. You don't have stable income or any benefits. If I keep art as a hobby, it would be less stressful. That said, it's pointless to think too far ahead. I enjoy art now and that's enough.