When they gotturned 36, they were upset by the news.

This was not the dream life that they had envisioned.

The word "that" is correct, but it flows better when you leave it out.

In her dream life, she wouldanted to be a mom much like her own mom, and she wouldthus marry a man who was like his father.

And now she wasbecame single and didn't have a realmuch of a career.

She wanted someone to shout at her, ‘Lose the damn weight!’ Her twin brother, Kevin, was an actor who was playing a character that he didn't like at all.

Kevin believed that things all went wrong since the time he was in grade two when they were eight or nine years old.

I feel it was a bit too descriptive.

he and his classmates witnessed the sSpace sShuttle Challenger disaster.

In the explosion, the teacher, who would have been the first female astronaut, was blowed to piecesdeceased along with the shuttle.

I feel like "deceased" is a better word than "blown to pieces".