atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 26, 2022

1
足球,健身,和健康

我最喜欢的运动是足球, 可是我只喜欢看足球比赛。在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本韩和国队。其实我不喜欢健身。健身以后,我老很累。非常遗憾。但是, 我要改变这个情况。我打算买哑铃。健康的身体在疫情期间十分重要。我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。最后,我希望这个疫情尽快結束。


Football, Exercise, and Health

My favorite sport is football, but I only like watching football games. During the current World Cup, I'm supporting Asian teams such as Japan and South Korea. Actually, I don't like exercising. After exercising, I'm always tired. Very frustrating. However, I want to change this situation. I'm planning to buy dumbbells. A healthy body is very important during the pandemic. I want to be healthy and not get the virus. Finally, I hope this pandemic will end as soon as possible.

Corrections

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本韩和国队。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本队和韩国队。

健身以后,我老很累。

健身以后,我总是很累。

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

我要健康,不想感染病毒。

Feedback

”成为“这个词语是同种类型事物之间的变化,”我“是人,可以说成”我要成为健康的人“

健身以后,我老很累。

健身以后,我感觉很累。

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

我要变得健康,不要感染病毒。

atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 27, 2022

1

Thank you for correcting me!

足球,健身,和健康

中文短停顿用顿号、长停顿用逗号,一句话结尾用句号。

我最喜欢的运动是足球, 可是我只喜欢看足球比赛。

这样更地道,

在现在的此次世界杯期间,我支持亚洲的球队,例如日本队和国队。

在和期间是语义重复了,也可以更简洁都删掉,亚洲队换成亚洲的球队更好,避免歧义。

其实我不喜欢健身运动

这里直接跳到健身有点突兀

健身以因为运动之后,我很累。

这句话和前一句话有因果关系,建议合成一句。

非常遗憾我觉得这样是不对的

非常遗憾一般不用到这么小的语境

但是所以, 我要改变这个情况。

前文遗憾了,这里用转折关系词不好

我打算买哑铃来锻炼身体

目的也表达清楚

健康的身体在疫情期间十分重要十分重要,尤其是疫情期间

健康的身体什么时候都重要,可以用递进表达在疫情期间尤为重要。

我要成为健康,不要才不会感染病毒。

可以变得健康,不能成为健康

Feedback

整体已经很不错了,词汇表达都是正确的,但是要注意前后文的逻辑关系,让句子更地道一些

atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 26, 2022

1

Thank you for the detailed correction! I really appreciate your help. Since I'm still a beginner, I learn a lot of new words from your comments, such as 尤其是, 突兀, and 避免. If you don't mind, may I ask a few questions?

1. What is the difference between 运动, 健身, and 锻炼?
2. I agree 遗憾 sounds too formal here. I wanted to say "I'm so frustrated". What's the Mandarin word for "frustrated"?
3. 此次世界杯,我支持亚洲球队,例如日本队和韩国队。I wanted to add something like "etc." at the end of the sentence since there are other Asian teams in the tournament, how do you say "etc." in Mandarin?
4. Is 例如 a formal word? For example, would this sentence sound weird? 我喜欢水果,例如香蕉和苹果。

missy's avatar
missy

Nov. 27, 2022

0

1. 运动 is a broad word, cover the meanings of 健身和锻炼, also include the other meanings, playing every sports can be described as 做运动. And 健身 means to shape your body, to develop muscle, usually in a gym and doing anaerobic exercise. 锻炼 means to do some simple exercises, like jogging in the morning, so as to become health. We usually say 锻炼身体。
2.沮丧 or 挫败
3. 例如日本队、韩国队等。 Put “等” or “等等” at the end of the sentence.
4.A little bit, another word “比如” would be less formal and colloquial.

missy's avatar
missy

Nov. 27, 2022

0

Thank you for the detailed correction! I really appreciate your help. Since I'm still a beginner, I learn a lot of new words from your comments, such as 尤其是, 突兀, and 避免. If you don't mind, may I ask a few questions? 1. What is the difference between 运动, 健身, and 锻炼? 2. I agree 遗憾 sounds too formal here. I wanted to say "I'm so frustrated". What's the Mandarin word for "frustrated"? 3. 此次世界杯,我支持亚洲球队,例如日本队和韩国队。I wanted to add something like "etc." at the end of the sentence since there are other Asian teams in the tournament, how do you say "etc." in Mandarin? 4. Is 例如 a formal word? For example, would this sentence sound weird? 我喜欢水果,例如香蕉和苹果。

I don’t know whether you could understand my poor English. If you have any other question, just let me know. I would try my best to answer it.

atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 27, 2022

1

I don’t know whether you could understand my poor English. If you have any other question, just let me know. I would try my best to answer it.

Your explanation is very clear, thank you! I don't really have any questions right now, but I just wrote a new entry, maybe you can check it out if you want :D

足球,健身,和健康

我最喜欢的运动是足球, 可是我只喜欢看足球比赛。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本国队。

其实我不喜欢健身。

健身以后,我老是感觉很累。

非常遗憾。

但是, 我要改变这个情况。

我打算买哑铃。

健康的身体在疫情期间十分重要。

要成为想保持健康,不感染病毒。

最后,我希望这个疫情尽快結束。

删掉后更简练。

Jack's avatar
Jack

Nov. 26, 2022

0

要成为想保持健康,不感染病毒。

要也是对的。个人偏好吧。

atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 26, 2022

1

谢谢! 我今天也有几个问题。

1. Is there a simpler way to say World Cup? For example, Japanese has W杯.
2. 例如日本韩和国队 >> It was a typo, sorry! How do we say typo in Mandarin?
3. Is 例如 formal or casual?
4. Does 疫情 mean both epidemic and pandemic?
5. Is 在...期间 the most common way to say "during"?

Jack's avatar
Jack

Nov. 26, 2022

0

1,世界杯。不能再简略了。
2.笔误。
3.极其常用的一个词,你怎么认为都行。
4.这边只说疫情或新冠,没有其他表达。
5.是的。非常非常常用的一个词。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本国队。

健身以后,我老累。(我总是累)

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

Feedback

写的很好

atomcdismantling's avatar
atomcdismantling

Nov. 26, 2022

1

谢谢您! 我有几个问题。

1. Are there differences between 总是, 老是, and 一直?
2. Can you explain about this correction: 我要健康? 要 + adjective is something new for me. Or is 健康 a noun here?

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Nov. 27, 2022

1

1: the three are the same meaning here means "always". But I suggest you use "总是"。
2:Yes, 健康 is a noun here.

足球,健身,和健康


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

足球,健身,和健康

中文短停顿用顿号、长停顿用逗号,一句话结尾用句号。

我最喜欢的运动是足球, 可是我只喜欢看足球比赛。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

我最喜欢的运动是足球, 可是我只喜欢看足球比赛。

这样更地道,

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本韩和国队。


在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本国队。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本国队。

在现在的此次世界杯期间,我支持亚洲的球队,例如日本队和国队。

在和期间是语义重复了,也可以更简洁都删掉,亚洲队换成亚洲的球队更好,避免歧义。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本韩和国队。

在现在的世界杯期间,我支持亚洲队,例如日本队和韩国队。

其实我不喜欢健身。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

其实我不喜欢健身运动

这里直接跳到健身有点突兀

健身以后,我老很累。


健身以后,我老累。(我总是累)

健身以后,我老是感觉很累。

健身以因为运动之后,我很累。

这句话和前一句话有因果关系,建议合成一句。

健身以后,我老很累。

健身以后,我感觉很累。

健身以后,我老很累。

健身以后,我总是很累。

非常遗憾。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

非常遗憾我觉得这样是不对的

非常遗憾一般不用到这么小的语境

但是, 我要改变这个情况。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

但是所以, 我要改变这个情况。

前文遗憾了,这里用转折关系词不好

我打算买哑铃。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

我打算买哑铃来锻炼身体

目的也表达清楚

健康的身体在疫情期间十分重要。


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

健康的身体在疫情期间十分重要十分重要,尤其是疫情期间

健康的身体什么时候都重要,可以用递进表达在疫情期间尤为重要。

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。


我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

要成为想保持健康,不感染病毒。

我要成为健康,不要才不会感染病毒。

可以变得健康,不能成为健康

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

我要变得健康,不要感染病毒。

我要成为健康,不要感染病毒。

我要健康,不想感染病毒。

最后,我希望这个疫情尽快結束。


最后,我希望这个疫情尽快結束。

删掉后更简练。

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