父の10年回忌

今日は父の10年の回忌です。今朝、母と兄と墓参りに出かけました。私は後生のことをあんまり信じないので墓参りとかは私にとって特に意味はないです。でも回忌とか、墓参りとか、母には大事なので反対するなどしません。

もう10年ですね。父が亡くなった時、そしてそのあと、ずっと思っていたのは「Life goes on」という英語の表現でした。訳して「人生が続く」で、もっと深く読めると「ひどい目に会っても時が止まらない」という意味もありますね。確かに、父が亡くなった時はつらかった。でも時が止まってくれなかったので、前に進むしかなかった。その暗い時を貫けてメンタルの強さが何倍レベルアップしたかも。

父との仲は複雑でしたが、とにかく優しい人でした。私の父であって感謝します。

Today is the 10th death anniversary of my father. This morning, I went to visit his grave with my mother and brother. I don't really believe in an afterlife, so grave visits don't hold any special meaning to me, but things like death anniversaries and grave visits are important to my mother, so I don't oppose her when it comes to these things.

It's already been 10 years. When my father died, and for some time after that, I would always think of the English expression "Life goes on". Translated, it means "Life goes on", but reading it more deeply, it can also mean "Even if you're going through something difficult, time will not stop (for you)". For sure, it was hard when my father passed away. But time didn't stop for me, so I had no choice but to move forward. I think my mental strength leveled up by a lot after being able to get through that difficult time.

I had a complicated relationship with my father, but he was a very kind person. I'm grateful that he was my father.