Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 21, 2021

0
Writing Practice

My ideal life is to be born in a mediated wealthy family and my parents treat each other nicely. During my childhood, I had enough time to play with my fellow children and without a lot of worries. When I was in elementary school and high school, I studied hard and could get a good grade so that I could be admitted to a famous university. While I am growing up, my parents can give me a good education. I can get a decent job and a nice salary and the work is not so busy and does not involve lots of pressure and stress. I can afford a decent car and a house. Also, I can marry a nice woman and not scold me all the time. I also want to have certain savings to deal with some unexpected issues. If possible, I want to retire at the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then. I also want to have a long life span and stay healthy because I hate illness. Of course, I will die, but die from age, not from disease. I think my request is not high, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

Corrections

Writing Practice

MIn my ideal life is to, I would be born into a medioderatedly wealthy family andwhere my parents treat each other nicwelyl.

During my childhood, I would have had enough time to play with my fellow children and, without a lot oftoo many worries.

I'm using "would" in all of these sentences because this is all a hypothetical situation.

When I was'd go in elementary school and high school, I would studiedy hard and could get a good grades so that I could be admitted to a famous university.

WhileAs I am would growing up, my parents canwould be able to give me a good education.

I canould get a decent job and a nice salary, and the work is not so busy and does nowouldn't not too hectic, nor would it involve lots of pressure and stress.

I canwould be able to afford a decent car and a house.

Also, I canwould also marry a nice woman and nowho wouldn't scold me all the time.

I also want to have certainsome savings to deal with some unexpected issues.

"certain" would be used if out of all savings in existence, you wanted *that* *certain* amount of savings (hehe). "some" would fit here better.

If possible, I want to retire atby the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.

I also want to halive a long life span and stay healthy, because I hate illnesses.

"illnesses" is plural here because you're saying something generally. You hate *all* illnesses, in *general*.

Of course, I will die, but diue fromto age, not from disease.

I think my request is not highnone of that is too much to ask for, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

Feedback

Nice writing practice, as always :)
That is indeed a very nice ideal life which you've described.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 22, 2021

0

Thank you very much for correcting my journals and giving me that much detailed explanations. Thank you very much.

Writing Practice

My ideal life is to be born in a mediated wealthy family and my parents treat each other nicely.

MIn my ideal life is to, I would be born into a medioderatedly wealthy family andwhere my parents treat each other nicwelyl.

During my childhood, I had enough time to play with my fellow children and without a lot of worries.

During my childhood, I would have had enough time to play with my fellow children and, without a lot oftoo many worries.

When I was in elementary school and high school, I studied hard and could get a good grade so that I could be admitted to a famous university.

When I was'd go in elementary school and high school, I would studiedy hard and could get a good grades so that I could be admitted to a famous university.

While I am growing up, my parents can give me a good education.

WhileAs I am would growing up, my parents canwould be able to give me a good education.

I can get a decent job and a nice salary and the work is not so busy and does not involve lots of pressure and stress.

I canould get a decent job and a nice salary, and the work is not so busy and does nowouldn't not too hectic, nor would it involve lots of pressure and stress.

I can afford a decent car and a house.

I canwould be able to afford a decent car and a house.

Also, I can marry a nice woman and not scold me all the time.

Also, I canwould also marry a nice woman and nowho wouldn't scold me all the time.

I also want to have certain savings to deal with some unexpected issues.

I also want to have certainsome savings to deal with some unexpected issues.

If possible, I want to retire at the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.

If possible, I want to retire atby the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.

I also want to have a long life span and stay healthy because I hate illness.

I also want to halive a long life span and stay healthy, because I hate illnesses.

Of course, I will die, but die from age, not from disease.

Of course, I will die, but diue fromto age, not from disease.

I think my request is not high, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

I think my request is not highnone of that is too much to ask for, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

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