Dec. 21, 2021
Writing Practice
I don't think I have closest friends. It's not because there is something wrong with me. It's because I don't think having closest friends is worth proud of, that just shows people's weaknesses because they are not strong enough, but one of my classmates, although who can't be as closest to me, I really want to talk about him because I think he is very strange. I met him when we started our junior high school and we were from different villages. He has a strange temper, but I don't know how to express it to you. In short, he is a bit out of touch with the world and doesn't seem to know anything about the world. But he can get a good grade in exams if he studies hard. In other words, if he doesn't study hard, he can fall to the bottom. Later, he was admitted to an accounting major in a school. After three years of studying, he was assigned to work in a state-owned food factory. A few years later, that food factory closed down. To survive, he passed the CPA qualification. Afterwards, he went to work in a few accounting firms. It was about the age of forty. He started his own accounting firm and became a boss himself. Now he is way more wealthy than before. Although we rarely communicate with each other, we remember each other very well. I value him very much, and I am very impressed with him.
Writing Practice
I don't think I have very closest friends.
It's not because there is something wrong with me.
It's just because I don't think having really closest friends is anything being worth proud of, thaabout, it just shows people's weaknesses because they are not strong enough, but one of my (on their own), however I do have a classmates, although who can't be awho I don't think although I would say is closest to me, who I really want to talk about him because I think he is very strange.
1. Added "just" because it contrasts with the previous sentence better.
2. "not strong enough" is a bit odd out of context, saying "because they aren't really that strong" might fit better.
"It's just because I don't think having really close friends is anything being worth proud about, it just shows people's weaknesses because they are not strong enough (on their own), however I do have a classmate, who I don't think although I would say is closest to me, who I really want to talk because I think he is very strange."
(copypasted because I made a lot of changes, want to display it clearly)
I met him when we started our junior high school and we were from different villages.
He has a strange temper, but I don't know how to express it to you.
"to you" would make sense when speaking to somebody, or an audience, but sounds odd here in writing.
In short, he is a bit out of touch with the world and doesn't seem to knowunderstand anything about ithe world.
But he can get a good grade in exams if he studies hard.
In other words(What I mean to say is)/(However), if he doesn't study hard, he can fall to the bottom.
"In other words" doesn't fit here, because you're expressing two different thoughts. Well actually... strictly speaking, this could be an interesting literary device used by a writer, but I'd advise against it unless you want to sound like an anime character, lol.
Later, he was admitted toas an accounting major in another school.
After three years of studying, he was assigned to work in a state-owned food factory.
A few years later, that food factory closed down.
To survive, he passed the CPA qualification.
Afterwards, he went on to work in a few accounting firms.
"went on" here just means "continued forward to do something else". Your sentence on its own was fine, but this is more natural to me.
ItHe was abroutnd the age of forty.
He started his own accounting firm and became a boss himself.
Now he is way more wealthyier than before.
Some people say "more wealthy", some say "wealthier", so your sentence isn't necessarily wrong, but I hear "wealthier" more often.
Although we rarely communicate with each other, we remember each other very well.
I value him very much, and I am very impressed withby him.
Feedback
Very well-written! And what a remarkable story, too
Dec. 21, 2021
Thank you very much for giving me lots of corrections and detailed explanations. I am very grateful.
Dec. 22, 2021
No problem! :)
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Writing Practice |
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I don't think I have closest friends. I don't think I have very close |
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It's not because there is something wrong with me. |
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It's because I don't think having closest friends is worth proud of, that just shows people's weaknesses because they are not strong enough, but one of my classmates, although who can't be as closest to me, I really want to talk about him because I think he is very strange. It's just because I don't think having really close 1. Added "just" because it contrasts with the previous sentence better.
2. "not strong enough" is a bit odd out of context, saying "because they aren't really that strong" might fit better. "It's just because I don't think having really close friends is anything being worth proud about, it just shows people's weaknesses because they are not strong enough (on their own), however I do have a classmate, who I don't think although I would say is closest to me, who I really want to talk because I think he is very strange." (copypasted because I made a lot of changes, want to display it clearly) |
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I met him when we started our junior high school and we were from different villages. |
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He has a strange temper, but I don't know how to express it to you. He has a strange temper, but I don't know how to express it "to you" would make sense when speaking to somebody, or an audience, but sounds odd here in writing.
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In short, he is a bit out of touch with the world and doesn't seem to know anything about the world. In short, he is a bit out of touch with the world and doesn't seem to |
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But he can get a good grade in exams if he studies hard. |
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In other words, if he doesn't study hard, he can fall to the bottom.
"In other words" doesn't fit here, because you're expressing two different thoughts. Well actually... strictly speaking, this could be an interesting literary device used by a writer, but I'd advise against it unless you want to sound like an anime character, lol.
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Later, he was admitted to an accounting major in a school. Later, he was admitted |
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After three years of studying, he was assigned to work in a state-owned food factory. |
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A few years later, that food factory closed down. |
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To survive, he passed the CPA qualification. |
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Afterwards, he went to work in a few accounting firms. Afterwards, he went on to work in a few accounting firms. "went on" here just means "continued forward to do something else". Your sentence on its own was fine, but this is more natural to me.
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It was about the age of forty.
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He started his own accounting firm and became a boss himself. |
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Now he is way more wealthy than before. Now he is way Some people say "more wealthy", some say "wealthier", so your sentence isn't necessarily wrong, but I hear "wealthier" more often.
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Although we rarely communicate with each other, we remember each other very well. |
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I value him very much, and I am very impressed with him. I value him very much, and I am very impressed |
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