Dec. 30, 2021
Writing Practice
What do you remember from your childhood? Any memories that pop out?
I was born and raised in the countryside. Back then, my village only had 26 families, and about 130 people.
There is a piece of land in the west of my village and each family had a small vegetable garden there.
Those gardens were very well arranged, which were divided into several sections for different vegetables. They both had a few ditches and a well to water vegetables.
To make it easier to take water, every well had a special water lifting device: a wooden pole stood by the well, the top of the pole connected with a horizontal wooden stick, one end of the stick connected with a bucket and the other end had an additional weight.
When you take water, you have to pull the bucket down into the well. When you lift the bucket full of water up, it will be very easy because of the additional weight.
Apart from planting garlic, green onions and gingers, each family also plants cucumbers, tomatoes and various other melons during summers.
On summer vacation, we teenagers liked to water the vegetables because after that we could pick some melons to eat, and they were really delicious.
At that time, all the vegetables we ate were all planted ourselves and they didn't have any chemical fertilizers and pesticides.
But now, my villagers don't grow vegetables anymore. They buy vegetables at farmers' markets or supermarkets.
What do you remember from your childhood?
Any memories that pop out?
I was born and raised in the countryside.
Back then, my village only had 26 families, and about 130 people.
There is a piece of land in the west of my village and each family had a small vegetable garden there.
What you wrote is great. Just wanted to provide another option, instead of "in the west" you could say, "on the west side". I think they way I wrote is a little more natural, but either one works.
Those gardens were very well arranged, which were divided into several sections for different vegetables, were very well arranged.
This is just a style preference, but I moved the "which" portion of the sentence directly after "gardens" since that's what it's talking about. You could have also left your original kept your original sentence structure and just used "and" instead of "which". So, "Those gardens were very well arranged, and were divided into several sections for different vegetables.". Your choice.
They both had a few ditches and a well to water vegetables.
To make it easier to takeget water, every well had a special water lifting device: a wooden pole stood by the well, the top of the pole connected withto a horizontal wooden stick, one end of the stick connected withto a bucket and the other end had an additional weight.
Mainly stylistic preferences here. I think I would use the verb "to get" instead of "to take" for getting the water from the well. I think I've also seen "to draw" used so you could have said, "easier to draw water" though I think this is a little less common. If you had been describing using a pump to get the water then you could have said, "to pump water", but sounds like you all were doing it manually so that wouldn't apply in this situation.
When you takeget/draw water, you have to pull the bucket down into the well.
When you lift the bucket full of water up, it will be very easy because of the additional weight.
Apart from planting garlic, green onions and gingers, each family also plants cucumbers, tomatoes and various other melons during summers.
This is written like each family still plants cucumbers, tomatoes, and various other melons during the summers, but in the towards the end of the journal you say that the villagers don't grow vegetables anymore. If it should have been in the past then I would write, "each family also planted..."
On summer vacation, we teenagers liked to water the vegetables because after that we could pick some melons to eat, and they were really delicious.
At that time, all the vegetables we ate were all (had) planted ourselves and they didn't have any chemical fertilizers andor pesticides.
What you wrote was great. I struggled with how to phrase this sentence myself. What I wrote is how I would say it, "had" being optional (I probably wouldn't say it if I were speaking), but I think what you wrote is fine too.
But now, my villagers don't grow vegetables anymore.
They buy vegetables at farmers' markets or supermarkets.
Feedback
Really good and very easy to understand. I mainly just had some stylistic preferences.
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Writing Practice |
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What do you remember from your childhood? |
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Any memories that pop out? |
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I was born and raised in the countryside. |
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Back then, my village only had 26 families, and about 130 people. |
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There is a piece of land in the west of my village and each family had a small vegetable garden there. There is a piece of land in the west of my village and each family had a small vegetable garden there. What you wrote is great. Just wanted to provide another option, instead of "in the west" you could say, "on the west side". I think they way I wrote is a little more natural, but either one works.
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Those gardens were very well arranged, which were divided into several sections for different vegetables. Those gardens This is just a style preference, but I moved the "which" portion of the sentence directly after "gardens" since that's what it's talking about. You could have also left your original kept your original sentence structure and just used "and" instead of "which". So, "Those gardens were very well arranged, and were divided into several sections for different vegetables.". Your choice.
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They both had a few ditches and a well to water vegetables. |
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To make it easier to take water, every well had a special water lifting device: a wooden pole stood by the well, the top of the pole connected with a horizontal wooden stick, one end of the stick connected with a bucket and the other end had an additional weight. To make it easier to Mainly stylistic preferences here. I think I would use the verb "to get" instead of "to take" for getting the water from the well. I think I've also seen "to draw" used so you could have said, "easier to draw water" though I think this is a little less common. If you had been describing using a pump to get the water then you could have said, "to pump water", but sounds like you all were doing it manually so that wouldn't apply in this situation.
|
|
When you take water, you have to pull the bucket down into the well. When you |
|
When you lift the bucket full of water up, it will be very easy because of the additional weight. |
|
Apart from planting garlic, green onions and gingers, each family also plants cucumbers, tomatoes and various other melons during summers. Apart from planting garlic, green onions and gingers, each family also plants cucumbers, tomatoes and various other melons during summers. This is written like each family still plants cucumbers, tomatoes, and various other melons during the summers, but in the towards the end of the journal you say that the villagers don't grow vegetables anymore. If it should have been in the past then I would write, "each family also planted..."
|
|
On summer vacation, we teenagers liked to water the vegetables because after that we could pick some melons to eat, and they were really delicious. |
|
At that time, all the vegetables we ate were all planted ourselves and they didn't have any chemical fertilizers and pesticides. At that time, all the vegetables we ate we What you wrote was great. I struggled with how to phrase this sentence myself. What I wrote is how I would say it, "had" being optional (I probably wouldn't say it if I were speaking), but I think what you wrote is fine too.
|
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But now, my villagers don't grow vegetables anymore. |
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They buy vegetables at farmers' markets or supermarkets. |
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