Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 26, 2021

0
Writing Practice

The junior high school I studied in is in my hometown, which is called Gongji town. It is around 1.5 kilometers away from my village. All of my classmates came from different elementary schools, so we didn't know each other at first.

The school is located in the southwest part of Gongji town. Our classrooms were a few rows of bungalows. On the weekdays, we slept and ate in school. Only on weekends can we go home.

The east side of school was bordered by a pond, and every morning we went to the pool to wash our faces. If it was winter, we had to find a brick and break the ice to get water.

We had early self-study back then, so every morning in the winter when we went into the classroom, there was always ice in my front hair.

There was no electricity in my school at that time. We had to use two vapour lamps to light up the classrooms when we self - studied in the early morning.

Our dormitory didn't have beds, we just slept on the floor and used two bricks as a pillow. Besides, there were two holes on the northern wall of the dormitory, so we hardly felt warm on windy nights in the winter.

My school had a cafeteria. We brought 80 percent sweet potato flour and 20 percent wheat flour to it. Besides, we had to give it a small amount of money. Maybe it was just 0.5 RMB.

So three meals a day, what we ate were all steamed buns and salty porridge. Of course, they were made from what we brought to the cafeteria.

However, bad living conditions don't necessarily mean that we aren't happy. On the contrary, I was not only happy, but also got very good grades when I was in junior high school.

Corrections

Writing Practice

The junior high school where I studied in is in my hometown, which is called Gongji town.

Usually the word "town" isn't in the name of towns, but I could be wrong about this place specifically.

It is around 1.5 kilometers away from my village.

All of my classmates came from different elementary schools, so we didn't know each other at first.

The school is located in the southwest part of Gongji town.

Our classrooms were a few rows of bungalows.

On the weekdays, we slept and ate inat school.

Only on weekends can we go homeWe could only go home on the weekends.

"Only on the weekends could we go home" is correct, but it sounds quite literary - people wouldn't say this in everyday conversations.

The east side of the school was bordered by a pond, and every morning, we went to the pool to wash our faces.

If it was winter, we had to find a brick and break the ice to get water.

We had early self-study back then, so every morning in the winter when we went into the classroom, there was always ice in my front hair.

I think I know what "early self-study" means, but it's not 100% clear. I think "We had to go to the classrooms early to study independently" would be clearer.

There was no electricity in my school at that time.

We had to use two vapour lamps to light up the classrooms when we self - studiedtudied independently in the early morning.

Our dormitory didn't have beds,; we just slept on the floor and used two bricks as a pillow.

Besides, there were two holes on the northern wall of the dormitory, so we hardly felt warm on windy nights in the winter.

My school had a cafeteria.

We brought 80 percent sweet potato flour and 20 percent wheat flour to it.

Besides, we had to give itWe also had to bring/pay a small amount of money.

"Besides" usually introduces another idea - this is more like another detail.

Maybe it was just 0.5 RMB.

So we had three meals a day, whatand all we ate were all steamed buns and salty porridge.

Of course, they were made from what we brought to the cafeteria.

However, the bad living conditions doidn't necessarily mean that we aweren't happy.

I would use the past tense here to match the rest of the piece.

On the contrary, I was not only happy, but also got very good grades when I was in junior high school.

Feedback

Great writing here! Your description makes me very grateful for my very modern school conditions :) hope my corrections helped

Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 26, 2021

0

Thank you for all your very detailed corrections and explanations. Thank you very much.

Writing Practice

The junior high school I studied in is in my hometown, which is called Gongji town.

The junior high school where I studied in is in my hometown, which is called Gongji town.

It is around 1.5 kilometers away from my village.

All of my classmates came from different elementary schools, so we didn't know each other at first.

The school is located in the southwest part of Gongji town.

Our classrooms were a few rows of bungalows.

On the weekdays, we slept and ate in school.

On the weekdays, we slept and ate inat school.

Only on weekends can we go home.

Only on weekends can we go homeWe could only go home on the weekends.

The east side of school was bordered by a pond, and every morning we went to the pool to wash our faces.

The east side of the school was bordered by a pond, and every morning, we went to the pool to wash our faces.

If it was winter, we had to find a brick and break the ice to get water.

We had early self-study back then, so every morning in the winter when we went into the classroom, there was always ice in my front hair.

We had early self-study back then, so every morning in the winter when we went into the classroom, there was always ice in my front hair.

There was no electricity in my school at that time.

We had to use two vapour lamps to light up the classrooms when we self - studied in the early morning.

We had to use two vapour lamps to light up the classrooms when we self - studiedtudied independently in the early morning.

Our dormitory didn't have beds, we just slept on the floor and used two bricks as a pillow.

Our dormitory didn't have beds,; we just slept on the floor and used two bricks as a pillow.

Besides, there were two holes on the northern wall of the dormitory, so we hardly felt warm on windy nights in the winter.

My school had a cafeteria.

We brought 80 percent sweet potato flour and 20 percent wheat flour to it.

Besides, we had to give it a small amount of money.

Besides, we had to give itWe also had to bring/pay a small amount of money.

Maybe it was just 0.5 RMB.

So three meals a day, what we ate were all steamed buns and salty porridge.

So we had three meals a day, whatand all we ate were all steamed buns and salty porridge.

Of course, they were made from what we brought to the cafeteria.

However, bad living conditions don't necessarily mean that we aren't happy.

However, the bad living conditions doidn't necessarily mean that we aweren't happy.

On the contrary, I was not only happy, but also got very good grades when I was in junior high school.

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