o
ozymandias99

Sep 23

English

2 min read

Thoughts on education (V2)

The question of how to best educate students is a highly debated subject. On the one hand, a substantial number of individuals believe that dynamic classes are more enjoyable for students. On the other hand, it is claimed that serious lessons are more understandable. Hence, formally presented classes are definitely better than any other type of education.

In the first place, serious classes allow people to focus solely on the subject matter, whereas an "entertaining" lesson negatively impacts students' ability to concentrate. In this sense, a more formal class model is useful when a professor is teaching a hard science, such as Mathematics, since pupils are fully absorbed by the logical reasoning behind the task at hand.

Furthermore, a formal lesson leaves a good impression of the teacher on the students. When I was in highschool, I had a Mathematics teacher who used this approach when explaining. I remember being amazed with this magnificent way of teaching, which made me held this professor in high regard. As a matter of fact, this class inspired me to pursue a career in engineering. This exhibits how a serious type of teaching may greatly improve the student learning process.

Moreover, the learning pace is higher in a serious class. By using "entertaining" activities, teachers tend to lose valuable time that may be used for something else, while a serious approach would completely enhance students' use of time.

To conclude, formal lessons allow students to think only about the topic of the class. Additionally, this type of education may inspire people. When teachers use a formal approach, the learning pace of the class is higher. Therefore, as expressed previously, this learning approach significantly enriches the learning experience by many measures.

Corrections (2)

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Overall feedback & comment
Showing corrections grouped by sentence
2

The question of how to best educate students is a highly debated subject.

2

On the one hand, a substantial number of individuals believe that dynamic classes are more enjoyable for students.

On the other hand, it is claimed that serious lessons are more understandable.

On the other hand, it issome claimed that serious lessons are more understandable.

Changed to "some" to clarify meaning.

On the other hand, it issome claimed that serious lessons are more understandable.

It isn't incorrect to use the passive voice here, but it's usually preferable in English writing to use active voice when possible (with the exception of scientific research). Active voice usually sounds clearer to the reader and more to the point.
Stylistic

Hence, formally presented classes are definitely better than any other type of education.

Hence,I believe formally presented classes are definitely better than any other type of education.

I don't think this is a question with a definitive answer, so it ultimately comes down to your opinion and shouldn't be presented as the absolute truth.

Hence, formallyclasses presented classeswith a formal tone are definitely better than any other type of education.

Take this with a grain of salt as it's just my personal opinion, not an actual error, but I think this sounds a bit clearer.
Stylistic
1

In the first place, serious classes allow people to focus solely on the subject matter, whereas an "entertaining" lesson negatively impacts students' ability to concentrate.

In the first place, serious classes allow people to focus solely on the subject matter, whereas an "entertaining" lesson negatively impacts students' ability to concentrate.

* Alt: an entertaining lesson has a negative impact on students' ability to concentrate.
* I don't think the quotation marks are necessary unless you're using them with "serious" as well.

In this sense, a more formal class model is useful when a professor is teaching a hard science, such as Mathematics, since pupils are fully absorbed by the logical reasoning behind the task at hand.

In this sense, aA more formal class modelsetting is useful when a professor is teaching a hard science, such as Mmathematics, since pupils arneed to be fully absorbed by the logical reasoning behind the task at handconcepts.

I get what you mean but it feels clunky.

In this sense, a more formal class model is useful when a professor is teaching a hard science, such as Mmathematics, since pupils are fully absorbed by the logical reasoning behind the task at hand.

A general subject name doesn't need to be capitalized.
Usage
1

Furthermore, a formal lesson leaves a good impression of the teacher on the students.

Furthermore, a formal lesson leaves a good impression of the teacher on the students.

Alt: a formal lesson gives the students a good impression of the teacher.

When I was in highschool, I had a Mathematics teacher who used this approach when explaining.

When I was in high school, I had a Mmathematics teacher who used this approach when explaining lessons.

Alt: a math teacher

When I was in high school, I had a Mmathematics teacher who used this approach when explaining.

"High school" is written as two words, and we don't typically need to capitalize a general subject name.
Spelling Usage

I remember being amazed with this magnificent way of teaching, which made me held this professor in high regard.

I remember being amazed with this magnificent way of teaching, which made me held this professor in high regard.

Alt: I remember being amazed with this magnificent way of teaching and holding this professor in high regard.

I remember being amazed with this magnificent way of teaching, which made me heold this professor in high regard.

Following "made", the next verb should be written in the infinitive form.
Grammar
2

As a matter of fact, this class inspired me to pursue a career in engineering.

1

This exhibits how a serious type of teaching may greatly improve the student learning process.

This exhibits how a serious type of teaching may greatly improve the students' learning process.

Works, but I would go for "this shows [...]" or "this demonstrates [...]" to make the sentence more natural.
1

Moreover, the learning pace is higher in a serious class.

Moreover, the learning pace is higher in a serious classa serious class requires a higher pace of teaching.

1

By using "entertaining" activities, teachers tend to lose valuable time that may be used for something else, while a serious approach would completely enhance students' use of time.

By using "entertaining" activities, teachers tend to lose valuable time that may be used for something else, whil. I believe a serious approach would completely enhance the students' use of time.

* Alt: By incorporating
* Broken into separate sentences for better flow.
1

To conclude, formal lessons allow students to think only about the topic of the class.

To conclude, formal lessons allow students to think only aboutfocus on the topic of the class.

1

Additionally, this type of education may inspire people.

Additionally, this type of education may inspire people.

Alt: this type of teaching style
(to clarify meaning)

When teachers use a formal approach, the learning pace of the class is higher.

When teachers use a formal approach, the learning pace of the class is highstudents can learn faster.

When teachers use a formal approach, the learning pace of the class is higher.

There's nothing wrong with the structure/grammar here, but I just think it's a bit repetitive seeing as it was mentioned above.
Stylistic

Therefore, as expressed previously, this learning approach significantly enriches the learning experience by many measures.

Therefore, as expressed previously, this learning approach significantly enriches the learning experience by many measures.

"As expressed previously" doesn't add meaning and is unnecessary. By saying "to conclude" in one of the previous sentences, you're already telling the reader to refer to your past arguments.

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ozymandias99

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