mackie500's avatar
mackie500

March 15, 2023

0
The Brazil history by me

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and basically it is a country exploited by Europeans in the first centuries of existence and also by the exploitation of African slaves and Indians and by the genocide of the Indians. The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance. Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

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TheMy Version of Brazil hian History by me

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and basically it iwas a country exploited by Europeans in theits first few centuries of existence and it also byincluded the exploitation of African slaves and Indians and bys well as the genocide of the Indians.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was already on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

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Very interesting. Good work!

mackie500's avatar
mackie500

March 16, 2023

0

thank you!

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything in it was so bad and basically itawful. Basically, Brazil is a country exploited by Europeans in theits first centuries of existence and also by the, who conducted exploitation of African slaves and Indians and by thecommitted genocides of the IndiansNative people.

Try not to make the sentence too long. A long sentence in which many clauses are connected by "and" without punctuation to break up the rhythm is called a "run on sentence." It's grammatically correct but not stylistically appealing.
Currently, most believe the term "Indian" to be incorrect and insulting now, so "native people" and "aboriginals" are more commonly used in formal history writing.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but. However, slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was on the margins ofmarginalized by society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

"Are on the margins of society" is not used as often as just describing the group as "marginalized." This is a more advanced topic though and the fact that you essentially used an alternative way of saying "marginalized" is impressive!

Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

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It's hard to talk about history succinctly and with the right formality, but your attempt was impressive! The uses of the technical terms were mostly correct. Keep it up.

mackie500's avatar
mackie500

March 16, 2023

0

Thank you

The Brazil history by mHistory of Brazil / The History of Brazil, by Me / The History of Brazil, Written by Me

I would personally just leave "by me" off, by here are a few options if you want to keep it.

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and b. Basically it is a country that was exploited by Europeans in theits first few centuries of existence and. It also byparticipated in the exploitation of African slaves and Iindians and by the genocide of the Indiansgenous slaves and committed genocide against the native population.

Sentence was too long, so I broke it up.
Though historically natives have been referred to as Indians, we're often taught to avoid the use of the term "Indian" in America because it sounds like you're referring to people from the country India. We often use the terms "Native American," "natives", or "indigenous" to talk around the word "Indian."

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil for the first time in 1808 and i. In 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but s. Slavery only ended in 1888, and at the time, the newly freed population was on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

Sentence too long.

Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had. This republic went through two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

Started to feel like a run-on sentence, so I split it into two.

The Brazil history by me

The Brazil history by mHistory of Brazil / The History of Brazil, by Me / The History of Brazil, Written by Me

TheMy Version of Brazil hian History by me

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and basically it is a country exploited by Europeans in the first centuries of existence and also by the exploitation of African slaves and Indians and by the genocide of the Indians.

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and b. Basically it is a country that was exploited by Europeans in theits first few centuries of existence and. It also byparticipated in the exploitation of African slaves and Iindians and by the genocide of the Indiansgenous slaves and committed genocide against the native population.

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything was so bad and basically it iwas a country exploited by Europeans in theits first few centuries of existence and it also byincluded the exploitation of African slaves and Indians and bys well as the genocide of the Indians.

I don't like the history of Brazil because everything in it was so bad and basically itawful. Basically, Brazil is a country exploited by Europeans in theits first centuries of existence and also by the, who conducted exploitation of African slaves and Indians and by thecommitted genocides of the IndiansNative people.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil for the first time in 1808 and i. In 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but s. Slavery only ended in 1888, and at the time, the newly freed population was on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was already on the margins of society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

The Portuguese family only came to Brazil in 1808 and in 1822 the country became independent from Portugal but. However, slavery only ended in 1888 and the newly freed population was on the margins ofmarginalized by society because the government at the time gave them zero social assistance.

Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

Shortly thereafter, the country ended the monarchy and began a republic that had. This republic went through two phases and a military dictatorship during the 20th century.

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