hya0906's avatar
hya0906

April 9, 2020

1
Ted Where camels really come from

Today, I don't want to do anything. But I have to do something, so now I am writing this. This writing is about where camels really come from.
I got to know a paleobiologist from this video. I think people who work in this kind of fields looks great. Because paleobiologists have to be delicate to find fossil which is from tiny to huge things.(?) In addition, fossils are hard to tell what those are. Those are similar with a piece of wood and other things when those are broken into small pieces. and process of finding evidences is stressful if those are right or wrong. In this video, the paleobiologist was finding many pieces of bones in the ice and digging up old dead stuffs. And she pieced them together. she struggled with finding lab that could find what animal the bones are from. I can’t imagine how hard the process are. I thank paleobiologists who discover facts of pasts. Finally it turned out what it is. It is a camel. I thought camels only live in the desert! I didn't know that. I found out Camels would have lived around the north pole, camel came from America and primitive camel would have been really small like rabbit. I was freaked out to know this. Rabbit sized camels? wow. how cute those are. History of evolution is amazing. How did they adapt a lot of environment? They must have adapted new environments with things they already had. Because I think they can’t evolve in short time. So that's why I think like that. I think to understand this, I have to readjust and reimagine my thoughts. Be flexible. There are many mysteries that we don't understand in this world.

Corrections

This writingentry is about where camels really come from.

Writing is usually used more generally, not about a specific written thing. You could also say I'm going to write about where camels really come from.

I got to knowlearned about a paleobiologist from this video.

If you say you got to know a paleobiologist it's like you met a specific person who's a paleobiologist and learned personal details.

I think people who work in this kind of fields looks are great.

Saying they look great is commenting on their physical appearance.

Because pPaleobiologists have to be delicate to find fossil which isbecause fossils can range in size from tiny to huge things.(?). In addition, fossils arit can be hard to tell what those are's actually a fossil.

Those are similar withey can look like a piece of wood andor other things when thosey are broken into small pieces.

andThe process of finding evidences is stressful if those asince it's hard to tell if you're right or wrong.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here, so I'm not sure if my correction is right.

In this video, the paleobiologist was finding many piecesa lot of bone pieces in the ice and, digging up old dead stuffs.

And sShe then pieced them together.

sShe struggled with finding lab that could findidentify what animal the bones are from.

I can’t imagine how hard theat process areis.

I thank paleobiologists who discover facts ofrom the pasts.

Finally it turned out what it iwas.

I think it might be better to say, "Finally they fig

It iwas a camel.

I think it would flow more naturally if you changed the two sentences to say something more like. "Finally they figured out what it was. It turns out it was a camel."

I didn't know that they live anywhere else.

I think that's what you're trying to say here.

I found out Cthat camels would have lived around the north pole, c. Camels came from America, and primitive camels would have been really small like a rabbit.

I was freaked out to know thisLearning that freaked me out.

Rabbit -sized camels?

wWow.

how cute those arThey're so cute.

HThe history of evolution is amazing.

How did they adapt a lot ofto so many environments?

They must have adapted to new environments withusing things they already had.

Bbecause I don't think they can’tould evolve in such a short time.

SoAt least that's whyat I think like thaought.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here, but it seems like in the previous sentence you're saying what you used to think they you go on to say how you'll have to change how you think. That would make this sentence kind of a transition between the two thoughts.

I think to understand this, I'll have to readjust and reimagine my thoughts.think things,

Bbe flexible.

There are so many mysteries that we don't understand in this world.

Feedback

Good job. It was very interesting to read.

hya0906's avatar
hya0906

April 13, 2020

1

Thank you!

Ted Where camels really come from

Today, I don't want to do anything.

But I have to do something, so now I am writing this.

This writing is about where camels really come from.

This writingentry is about where camels really come from.

I got to know a paleobiologist from this video.

I got to knowlearned about a paleobiologist from this video.

I think people who work in this kind of fields looks great.

I think people who work in this kind of fields looks are great.

Because paleobiologists have to be delicate to find fossil which is from tiny to huge things.(?) In addition, fossils are hard to tell what those are.

Because pPaleobiologists have to be delicate to find fossil which isbecause fossils can range in size from tiny to huge things.(?). In addition, fossils arit can be hard to tell what those are's actually a fossil.

Those are similar with a piece of wood and other things when those are broken into small pieces.

Those are similar withey can look like a piece of wood andor other things when thosey are broken into small pieces.

and process of finding evidences is stressful if those are right or wrong.

andThe process of finding evidences is stressful if those asince it's hard to tell if you're right or wrong.

In this video, the paleobiologist was finding many pieces of bones in the ice and digging up old dead stuffs.

In this video, the paleobiologist was finding many piecesa lot of bone pieces in the ice and, digging up old dead stuffs.

And she pieced them together.

And sShe then pieced them together.

she struggled with finding lab that could find what animal the bones are from.

sShe struggled with finding lab that could findidentify what animal the bones are from.

I can’t imagine how hard the process are.

I can’t imagine how hard theat process areis.

I thank paleobiologists who discover facts of pasts.

I thank paleobiologists who discover facts ofrom the pasts.

Finally it turned out what it is.

Finally it turned out what it iwas.

It is a camel.

It iwas a camel.

I thought camels only live in the desert!

I didn't know that.

I didn't know that they live anywhere else.

I found out Camels would have lived around the north pole, camel came from America and primitive camel would have been really small like rabbit.

I found out Cthat camels would have lived around the north pole, c. Camels came from America, and primitive camels would have been really small like a rabbit.

I was freaked out to know this.

I was freaked out to know thisLearning that freaked me out.

Rabbit sized camels?

Rabbit -sized camels?

wow.

wWow.

how cute those are.

how cute those arThey're so cute.

History of evolution is amazing.

HThe history of evolution is amazing.

How did they adapt a lot of environment?

How did they adapt a lot ofto so many environments?

They must have adapted new environments with things they already had.

They must have adapted to new environments withusing things they already had.

Because I think they can’t evolve in short time.

Bbecause I don't think they can’tould evolve in such a short time.

So that's why I think like that.

SoAt least that's whyat I think like thaought.

I think to understand this, I have to readjust and reimagine my thoughts.

I think to understand this, I'll have to readjust and reimagine my thoughts.think things,

Be flexible.

Bbe flexible.

There are many mysteries that we don't understand in this world.

There are so many mysteries that we don't understand in this world.

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