Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 10, 2020

0
Sharing bike

Because I lost my bike, I rode hello sharing bike instead. There are many bike sharing on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes. Because my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my body, I don’t choose an electric one. It seemed there were only two bikes without electric power. I chose one of them at random. The first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride. It was very light and fast and it took only more than twenty minutes to arrive. The second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good. So I decided that before my new bike arrived, I would ride this one wherever I go. This is the happiest thing since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

Corrections

Sharing bike Bike sharing

Because I lost my bike, I rode hello sharing bike instead.

There are many bike sharing stations on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes.

Because my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my body, I don’t choose an electric one.

It seemed there were only two bikes without electric power.

I chose one of them at random.

The first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

It was very light and fast and it took only more than twenty minutes to arrive.

Based on this sentence I'm not sure if it took more than or less than 20 minutes to arrive. Based on the positive tone of the sentence I would rewrite this as: It was very light and fast and only took about twenty minutes to arrive.

TFor the second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good.

So I decided that before my new bike arrived, I would ride this one wherever I go.

This is the happiest thing since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

Feedback

I'm glad you found a way to be happy even though you lost your bike!

fabledlamb's avatar
fabledlamb

Oct. 10, 2020

0

I can't figure out how to edit my correction but I would also change the first sentence to say: Since I lost my bike, I rode a hello sharing bike instead.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 10, 2020

0

Thank you for your corrections and corrections, you are kind and helpful.

Sharing bBike s

Capitalize important words in title. Use plural (bikes) for general case.

Because I lost my bike, I rode a hello sharing bike instead.

Needs an indefinite article.

There are many bike sharinges on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes.

"bike sharing" is an activity. "bike shares" will read as a noun.

Because my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my body, I doidn’t choose an electric one.

Past tense, "didn't choose"

It seemed tThere were only two bikes without electric power.

I chose one of them at random.

The first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

It was very light and fast and it took only a bit more than twenty minutes to arrive.

only a bit more than, only a bit longer than, a little more than... all of these would work.

The second ride I still chose this one again (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good.

So I decided that before my new bike arrived, I would ride this one wherever I go.

This is the happiest thing to happen since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

Feedback

Very clear. When you use "so" to join two short sentences, it only gets one comma.

Example: I had to make dinner, SO I went into the kitchen.
Example: He didn't finish the homework, so he failed the assignment.
Example: I wanted another sandwich, so I made one.

If you use "so" to join two sentences, it is not like this
(incorrect: I like coffee, so, I drink it every day.)

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 10, 2020

0

Thank you for your corrections and the usage of SO. Thank you very much.

Because I lost my bike, I rode hello sharing bike instead.

Because my goal ofin riding a bike is to exercise my body, I don’t choose anthe electric ones.

It seemed there were only two bikes without non-electric powerbikes.

I chose one of them at random.

The first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

It was very light and fast and i. It took only more thanjust over twenty minutes to arrive.

Avoid using too many "and"

TFor the second ride, I still chose this one same bike (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and t. The ride still felt so good.

So I decided that before my new bike arriveds, I wouldill ride this one wherever I go.

This is the happiest thing that has happened to me since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

Feedback

No need for a "," after "so" if you put one right before.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 11, 2020

0

Thank you for your corrections and explanations. Thank you so much.

Because I recently lost my bike, I rode hhave been using Hello sSharing bBike instead.

There are many bike sharing onprograms on the streets in our city, but most of them areoffer electric bikes.

BecausSince my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my bodyore, I don’t chooswant to ride an electric one.

It seemed there were only two bikes without electric powermanual bikes, so I just picked one of them.

I combined this sentence with the next.

I chose one of them at random.

The distance of the first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

It was very lighteasy and fast and it took me only a little more than twenty minutes to arrive.

The second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there)chose another manual bike for my second ride and the ride still felt so good.

So I have decided that before my new bike arriveds, I would ride this onesecond bike I rented wherever I go.

This is the happiest thing since I lost my bike, so, I'm wroteiting it down.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 10, 2020

0

Thank you for your corrections. Thank you very much.

Sharing bike

Sharing bike Bike sharing

Sharing bBike s

Because I lost my bike, I rode hello sharing bike instead.

Because I lost my bike, I rode a hello sharing bike instead.

Because I recently lost my bike, I rode hhave been using Hello sSharing bBike instead.

There are many bike sharing on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes.

There are many bike sharing stations on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes.

There are many bike sharing onprograms on the streets in our city, but most of them areoffer electric bikes.

There are many bike sharinges on streets in our city, but most of them are electric bikes.

Because my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my body, I don’t choose an electric one.

BecausSince my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my bodyore, I don’t chooswant to ride an electric one.

Because my goal of riding a bike is to exercise my body, I doidn’t choose an electric one.

Because my goal ofin riding a bike is to exercise my body, I don’t choose anthe electric ones.

It seemed there were only two bikes without electric power.

It seemed there were only two bikes without electric powermanual bikes, so I just picked one of them.

It seemed tThere were only two bikes without electric power.

It seemed there were only two bikes without non-electric powerbikes.

I chose one of them at random.

I chose one of them at random.

The first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

The distance of the first ride was about seven or eight kilometers away and I was so happy about the ride.

It was very light and fast and it took only more than twenty minutes to arrive.

It was very light and fast and it took only more than twenty minutes to arrive.

It was very lighteasy and fast and it took me only a little more than twenty minutes to arrive.

It was very light and fast and it took only a bit more than twenty minutes to arrive.

It was very light and fast and i. It took only more thanjust over twenty minutes to arrive.

The second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good.

TFor the second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good.

The second ride I still chose this one (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there)chose another manual bike for my second ride and the ride still felt so good.

The second ride I still chose this one again (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and the ride still felt so good.

TFor the second ride, I still chose this one same bike (other people prefer electric bikes, so, it was still there) and t. The ride still felt so good.

So I decided that before my new bike arrived, I would ride this one wherever I go.

So I have decided that before my new bike arriveds, I would ride this onesecond bike I rented wherever I go.

So I decided that before my new bike arrived, I would ride this one wherever I go.

So I decided that before my new bike arriveds, I wouldill ride this one wherever I go.

This is the happiest thing since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

This is the happiest thing since I lost my bike, so, I'm wroteiting it down.

This is the happiest thing to happen since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

This is the happiest thing that has happened to me since I lost my bike, so, I wrote it down.

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