isaac's avatar
isaac

April 7, 2022

1
Report about the excursion of this weekend (C1 CAE)

You have just returned from leading an adventure weekend with your school. In preparation for an assessment meeting, you have been asked to write a report for the head of school.

Your report should explain what you feel the weekend achieved for students and teachers alike, describe any problems you may have had and suggest any changes you would make to the adventure weekend that would make it more interesting for everyone.

Write your report.

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(What could make it sound more natural? )

Report about the excursion of this weekend.

Introduction.
The aim of this report is to describe the activities that took place in The Jerte Valley during the currently annual adventure weekend with the students of the third course of the secondary school.

Goals and achievements.
It was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related to students' behaviour, as I will explain below. This has been an extraordinary opportunity to improve communication between the different groups in both class (A and B) for this course, and especially between teachers involved and students. For example, throughout during the hike up to the valley's lake, students of both classes help one to another to go up through the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc. It was stimulating for a teacher to see how students that have almost not interacted before at school cooperate and have fun. As regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to") teachers, we could know our students beyond the daily class context, what led us to a better and more personal communication. Moreover, they put some theory concepts, mostly from the natural sciences subject, into practice.

Problems and suggestions for the next trip.
There had been some problems with a little group of the class A. They managed to hide a couple of whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them once teachers were sleeping. However, I could catch them on time, so I avoided the situation got worse. I have just taken an appointment with their parents in order to have another meeting and inform them about this wrong-doing. Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I only propose look in their backpacks before the travel start.

Conclusion
All in all, these adventure days have been a really useful experienced that help us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out of classroom.


What could make it sound more natural?

c1caewriting
Corrections

It was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related tocaused by the students' behaviour, as I will explain below.

This has been an extraordinaryincredible opportunity to improve communication between the different groups in both classes (A and B) for this course, and especially between the students and teachers involved and students.

both classes (plural)

For example, throughout during the hike up toalong the valley's lake, students of both classes helped one to another to go up through the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc.

help- presente, helped- pasado

It was stimulaexciting for a teacher to see how students that have almost not interacted before at school cooperate and have fun.

As regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to") teachers, we couldgot to know our students beyond the daily class contextclassroom, whatich led us to ato better and more personal communication.

https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/regard-versus-regards

There had beenwere some problems with a littlesmall group of thefrom class A.

They managed to hide a couple offew whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them oncas the teachers were sleepingt.

"a couple of" es muy informal

However, I couldwas able to catch them on time, so I avoided making the situation got worse.

I have just takenscheduled an appointment with their parents in order to have another meetingmeet them and inform them about this wrong-doing.eir children's misconduct.

Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I only propose look in their backpackswould only like to propose a backpack inspection before the travel startip.

All in all, these days of adventure days have been a really useful experienced that has helped us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out of classroom.to forge stronger bonds between one another.

"experience" es tanto el sustantivo como el verbo, sin embargo no lleva "ed" si quieres escribir la palabra como un sustantivo

Feedback

Hola, mejor que antes, ¡bien hecho!

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 11, 2022

1

Hola Applebubble, muchas gracias de nuevo, estoy mejorando bastante con tus correcciones.

applebubble's avatar
applebubble

April 11, 2022

0

de nada amigo

Report about the excursion of this weekend (C1 CAE)

You have just returned from leading an aAdventure wWeekend with your school.

Reading this, it feels like "adventure weekend" is the specific name for an activity so I went and capitalized it. Otherwise, it should be "weekend adventure" instead.

In preparation for an assessment meeting, you have been asked to write a report for the head of the school.

Your report should explain what you feel the weekend achieved for students and teachers alike achieved during the weekend, describe any problems you may have had, and suggest any changes you would like to make to the aAdventure wWeekend that wouldo make it more interesting for everyone.

(What couldwill make it sound more natural? )

Report about the excursion of this weekend.

The aim of this report is to describe the activities that took place in The Jerte Valley during the currently annual aAdventure wWeekend with the students of the third course of the secondary schoolecondary school's third course students.

IOverall, it was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related to students' behaviour, as I will explain below.

This has been an extraordinary opportunity to improve communications between the different groups in both classes (A and B) for this course, and especially between the teachers involved and students.

For example, throughout during the hike up to the valley's lake, students ofrom both classes helped one to another to go up throughclimb the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc.

It was stimulating for a teacher to see how students that have almost notnever interacted before atin school can cooperate and have fun.

AsIn regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to")to the teachers, we could get to know our students beyond the daily class context, what led us to acontext of daily classes, which helped us to communicate in better and more personal communicationways.

Moreover, theystudents were able to put some theoryetical concepts, mostly from the natural sciences subject, into practice.

There hadve been some problems with a littlesmall group of thein class A.

They managed to hide a couple of whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them once the teachers were asleeping.

However, I couldwas able to catch them oin time, so I avoidprevented the situation gotfrom getting worse.

I have just takenmade an appointment with their parents in order to have another meeting and inform them about this wrong-doing.

Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I onsimply propose we look in their backpacks before the travelip starts.

All in all, these adventureous days have been a really useful experienced that helped us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out ofeach other outside of the classroom.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 11, 2022

1

Knight thank you so much for your corrections. I would ask you not to correct the initial statement just for being awarded with more %, I suppose the statement is correct because it was written by an international language institution.

knight's avatar
knight

April 11, 2022

0

Knight thank you so much for your corrections. I would ask you not to correct the initial statement just for being awarded with more %, I suppose the statement is correct because it was written by an international language institution.

Honestly, making "fake" corrections just to be awarded miniscule virtual percentages on a very niche site is something I would only associate with trolls, and I'm not sure if I should feel offended that an internet stranger is accusing me of such an act. I'm going to assume this isn't bait and give a proper response.

I made those corrections because I genuinely felt they were necessary. Those sentences may have been "technically" correct by looser standards than what I use, but it's very obvious that they're not written by a native speaker. It sounded off to me so I made an edit, simple as that.

Since this is a site about getting corrections for the things you wrote, perhaps it would be better if you don't include those "initial statements" in the future. After all, you're not looking for corrections on them, and omitting the unnecessary will save everyone's time and efforts.

This ended up much longer than I intended, and I apologize for that. Good day.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 12, 2022

1

"I made those corrections because I genuinely felt they were necessary. Those sentences may have been "technically" correct by looser standards than what I use, but it's very obvious that they're not written by a native speaker." (Succed in English Advanced, Andrew Betsis and Lawrence Mamas)

"Since this is a site about getting corrections for the things you wrote, perhaps it would be better if you don't include those "initial statements" in the future." - It helps understand what the exercise is asking me for and if I am writing properly about the context.

isaac's avatar
isaac

April 12, 2022

1

Good day

Report about the excursion of this weekend (C1 CAE)

Report about the excursion of this weekend (C1 CAE)

You have just returned from leading an adventure weekend with your school.

You have just returned from leading an aAdventure wWeekend with your school.

In preparation for an assessment meeting, you have been asked to write a report for the head of school.

In preparation for an assessment meeting, you have been asked to write a report for the head of the school.

Your report should explain what you feel the weekend achieved for students and teachers alike, describe any problems you may have had and suggest any changes you would make to the adventure weekend that would make it more interesting for everyone.

Your report should explain what you feel the weekend achieved for students and teachers alike achieved during the weekend, describe any problems you may have had, and suggest any changes you would like to make to the aAdventure wWeekend that wouldo make it more interesting for everyone.

Write your report.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(What could make it sound more natural? )

(What couldwill make it sound more natural? )

Report about the excursion of this weekend.

Report about the excursion of this weekend.

Introduction.

The aim of this report is to describe the activities that took place in The Jerte Valley during the currently annual adventure weekend with the students of the third course of the secondary school.

The aim of this report is to describe the activities that took place in The Jerte Valley during the currently annual aAdventure wWeekend with the students of the third course of the secondary schoolecondary school's third course students.

Goals and achievements.

It was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related to students' behaviour, as I will explain below.

IOverall, it was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related to students' behaviour, as I will explain below.

It was a good trip overall, despite some setbacks in our schedule related tocaused by the students' behaviour, as I will explain below.

This has been an extraordinary opportunity to improve communication between the different groups in both class (A and B) for this course, and especially between teachers involved and students.

This has been an extraordinary opportunity to improve communications between the different groups in both classes (A and B) for this course, and especially between the teachers involved and students.

This has been an extraordinaryincredible opportunity to improve communication between the different groups in both classes (A and B) for this course, and especially between the students and teachers involved and students.

For example, throughout during the hike up to the valley's lake, students of both classes help one to another to go up through the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc.

For example, throughout during the hike up to the valley's lake, students ofrom both classes helped one to another to go up throughclimb the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc.

For example, throughout during the hike up toalong the valley's lake, students of both classes helped one to another to go up through the hardest slopes, crossing over the river, etc.

It was stimulating for a teacher to see how students that have almost not interacted before at school cooperate and have fun.

It was stimulating for a teacher to see how students that have almost notnever interacted before atin school can cooperate and have fun.

It was stimulaexciting for a teacher to see how students that have almost not interacted before at school cooperate and have fun.

As regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to") teachers, we could know our students beyond the daily class context, what led us to a better and more personal communication.

AsIn regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to")to the teachers, we could get to know our students beyond the daily class context, what led us to acontext of daily classes, which helped us to communicate in better and more personal communicationways.

As regards (it is corrected from Write&Improve website as "As regards to") teachers, we couldgot to know our students beyond the daily class contextclassroom, whatich led us to ato better and more personal communication.

Moreover, they put some theory concepts, mostly from the natural sciences subject, into practice.

Moreover, theystudents were able to put some theoryetical concepts, mostly from the natural sciences subject, into practice.

Problems and suggestions for the next trip.

There had been some problems with a little group of the class A.

There hadve been some problems with a littlesmall group of thein class A.

There had beenwere some problems with a littlesmall group of thefrom class A.

They managed to hide a couple of whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them once teachers were sleeping.

They managed to hide a couple of whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them once the teachers were asleeping.

They managed to hide a couple offew whiskey bottles with the purpose of drinking them oncas the teachers were sleepingt.

However, I could catch them on time, so I avoided the situation got worse.

However, I couldwas able to catch them oin time, so I avoidprevented the situation gotfrom getting worse.

However, I couldwas able to catch them on time, so I avoided making the situation got worse.

I have just taken an appointment with their parents in order to have another meeting and inform them about this wrong-doing.

I have just takenmade an appointment with their parents in order to have another meeting and inform them about this wrong-doing.

I have just takenscheduled an appointment with their parents in order to have another meetingmeet them and inform them about this wrong-doing.eir children's misconduct.

Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I only propose look in their backpacks before the travel start.

Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I onsimply propose we look in their backpacks before the travelip starts.

Therefore, as a suggestion for the future, I only propose look in their backpackswould only like to propose a backpack inspection before the travel startip.

Conclusion

All in all, these adventure days have been a really useful experienced that help us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out of classroom.

All in all, these adventureous days have been a really useful experienced that helped us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out ofeach other outside of the classroom.

All in all, these days of adventure days have been a really useful experienced that has helped us all to get closer to each other and get to know us out of classroom.to forge stronger bonds between one another.

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