lethanhhang's avatar
lethanhhang

Dec. 4, 2022

0
Please review my essay.

It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who do not have large amounts of money.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a widespread notion that it is more difficult for poor people to maintain good health compared to the wealthy. I completely agree.


First, healthy food is often expensive, so the poor tend to opt for cheap alternatives, which can damage their health. For example, many people with a low income in Western countries are suffering from being overweight, obesity, and diabetes because they consume a large amount of fast food, which only costs a few dollars, far cheaper than fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits. On the other hand, rich people can afford to have a diet that is recommended by a food specialist, allowing them to consume enough vitamins for daily activities and have a healthy body. Similarly, poor people tend not to have the luxury of attending fitness classes to exercise and keep fit, unlike the wealthy. Consequently, they are likely to have a low standard of fitness, which is vulnerable to diseases.


Second, medical treatment costs for some illnesses are so expensive that those without high earnings are not able to afford them. As a result, many poor people are left to die of curable diseases. For example, every year, thousands of individuals in many African countries struggle to purchase medicines for mitigating aid symptoms, whose prices are sometimes up to thousands of dollars, and end with early death. Furthermore, rich people can afford monthly medical checking to identify early symptoms of potential illnesses, so they can quickly seek preventative medicines or medical treatments.


In conclusion, people who do not have a large amount of money have difficult access to resources that can help them to have good health.


I tried to practice writing under the pressure of time with easy questions. Would you mind grading my essays and giving me some suggestions to improve my band?

Corrections

Please review my essay.

It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who do not have large amounts of money.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a widespread notion that it is more difficult for poor people to maintain good health compared to the wealthy.

I completely agree.

First, healthy food is often expensive, so the poor tend to opt for cheap alternatives, which can damage their health.

For example, many people with a low income in Western countries are suffering from being overweight, obesitye, and having diabetes because they consume a large amount of fast food, which only costs a few dollars, and is far cheaper than fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits.

I agree!

On the other hand, rich people can afford to have a diet that is recommended by a food specialist, allowing them to consume enough vitamins for daily activities and have a healthy bodylifestyle.

"Healthy body" is grammatically correct but "healthy lifestyle" is used more in the US.

Similarly, poor people tend not to have the luxury of attending fitness classes to exercise and keep fit, unlike the wealthy.

Consequently, they are likely to have a low standard of fitness, which ismakes them vulnerable to diseases.

Second, medical treatment costs for some illnesses are so expensive that those without high earnings are not able to afford them.

As a result, many poor people are left to die of curable diseases.

For example, every year, thousands of individuals in many African countries struggle to purchase medicines for mitigating aidAIDS symptoms, who because prices are sometimes up to thousands of dollars, and end with so they die an early death.

Furthermore, rich people can afford monthly medical checkings to identify early symptoms of potential illnesses, so they can quickly seek preventative medicines or medical treatments.

In conclusion, people who do not have a large amount of money have difficult access to resources that can help them to haveenjoy good health.

I tried to practice writing under the pressure of time with easy questionsentences.

Would you mind grading my essays and giving me some suggestions to improve my bandwriting?

Feedback

You write very well. If I were you, I'd work on singular/plural verb agreement, countable and non countable nouns and parallel sentence construction.

lethanhhang's avatar
lethanhhang

Dec. 15, 2022

0

Thank you very much.

Please review my essay.

It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who do not have large amounts of money.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a widespread notion that it is more difficult for poor people to maintain good health compared to the wealthy.

I completely agree.

First, healthy food is often expensive, so the poor tend to opt for cheap alternatives, which can damage their health.

For example, many people with a low income in Western countries are suffering from being overweight, obesity, and diabetes because they consume a large amount of fast food, which only costs a few dollars, far cheaper than fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits.

For example, many people with a low income in Western countries are suffering from being overweight, obesitye, and having diabetes because they consume a large amount of fast food, which only costs a few dollars, and is far cheaper than fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits.

On the other hand, rich people can afford to have a diet that is recommended by a food specialist, allowing them to consume enough vitamins for daily activities and have a healthy body.

On the other hand, rich people can afford to have a diet that is recommended by a food specialist, allowing them to consume enough vitamins for daily activities and have a healthy bodylifestyle.

Similarly, poor people tend not to have the luxury of attending fitness classes to exercise and keep fit, unlike the wealthy.

Consequently, they are likely to have a low standard of fitness, which is vulnerable to diseases.

Consequently, they are likely to have a low standard of fitness, which ismakes them vulnerable to diseases.

Second, medical treatment costs for some illnesses are so expensive that those without high earnings are not able to afford them.

As a result, many poor people are left to die of curable diseases.

For example, every year, thousands of individuals in many African countries struggle to purchase medicines for mitigating aid symptoms, whose prices are sometimes up to thousands of dollars, and end with early death.

For example, every year, thousands of individuals in many African countries struggle to purchase medicines for mitigating aidAIDS symptoms, who because prices are sometimes up to thousands of dollars, and end with so they die an early death.

Furthermore, rich people can afford monthly medical checking to identify early symptoms of potential illnesses, so they can quickly seek preventative medicines or medical treatments.

Furthermore, rich people can afford monthly medical checkings to identify early symptoms of potential illnesses, so they can quickly seek preventative medicines or medical treatments.

In conclusion, people who do not have a large amount of money have difficult access to resources that can help them to have good health.

In conclusion, people who do not have a large amount of money have difficult access to resources that can help them to haveenjoy good health.

I tried to practice writing under the pressure of time with easy questions.

I tried to practice writing under the pressure of time with easy questionsentences.

Would you mind grading my essays and giving me some suggestions to improve my band?

Would you mind grading my essays and giving me some suggestions to improve my bandwriting?

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