Dec. 4, 2022
Please review my essay.
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.
To what extent do you agree?
Some people advocate art and music should be removed from the school curriculum so children can focus on other subjects that can equip them with the skills needed for the 21st century, such as information technology. I completely disagree.
First, one main aim of education is to cultivate and nurture children to be the best version of themselves by maximizing their interests and talents. There are undoubtedly many students who are interested in or possess a talent for art and music but do not have the luxury of taking those classes outside of school. They will be taken the joy away or fail to fully develop their competence if their schools exclude art and music from the curriculum. After adulthood, these students might face working in a field that they are not passionate about or talented in, resulting in poor performance and low chances of professional success. Hence, taking out art and music classes can actually be counterproductive.
Second, art and music classes can prepare children with useful skills for their employment prospects just like other subjects. By expressing their thoughts through painting and singing, children can enhance their creative and innovative thinking, which is what most employers seek when hiring. In addition, the notion that artistic skills are of no use and people cannot depend on them to make a living is untrue nowadays. Modern people love entertainment, so they spend a lot of money on games, cartoons, comics, and music. As a result, artists now have abundant ways to earn money. For example, many Tiktokers and Youtubers can attract millions of viewers and gain a lot of money just because they can sing or draw better than average people.
In conclusion, schools should provide art and music classes so they can acquire a well-rounded education that allows all children to flourish in their areas of interest or aptitudes and equip them with creativity and artistic skills, which are in high demand in the current entertainment age.
Please review my essay.
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world.
Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.
To what extent do you agree?
Some people advocate art and music should be removed from the school curriculum so children can focus on other subjects that can equip them with the skills needed for the 21st century, such as information technology.
I completely disagree.
First, one main aim of education is to cultivate and nurture children to be the best version of themselves by maximizing their interests and talents.
There are undoubtedly many students who are interested in or possess a talent for art and music but do not have the luxury of taking those classes outside of school.
They will be taken the joy away or subjects they like best will be taken away or they will fail to fully develop their competence if their schools exclude art and music from the curriculum.
I agree!
After adulthood, these students might face working in a field that they are not passionate about or talented in, resulting in poor performance and low chances of professional success.
Hence, taking out art and music classes can actually be counterproductive.
Second, art and music classes can prepare children with useful skills for their employment prospects just like other subjects.
By expressing their thoughts through painting and singing, children can enhance their creative and innovative thinking, which is what most employers seek when hiring.
In addition, the notion that artistic skills are of no use and people cannot depend on them to make a living is untrue nowadays.
Modern people love entertainment, so they spend a lot of money on games, cartoons, comics, and music.
As a result, artists now have abundant ways to earn money.
For example, many Tiktokers and Youtubers can attract millions of viewers and gain a lot of money just because they can sing or draw better than average people.
In conclusion, schools should provide art and music classes so they can acquire a well-rounded education that allows all children to flourish in their areas of interest or aptitudes and equip them with creativity and artistic skills, which are in high demand in the current entertainment age.
Feedback
Very, very well written! I enjoyed reading this.
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As a result, artists now have abundant ways to earn money. |
|
Please review my essay. |
|
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. |
|
Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. |
|
To what extent do you agree? |
|
Some people advocate art and music should be removed from the school curriculum so children can focus on other subjects that can equip them with the skills needed for the 21st century, such as information technology. |
|
I completely disagree. |
|
First, one main aim of education is to cultivate and nurture children to be the best version of themselves by maximizing their interests and talents. |
|
There are undoubtedly many students who are interested in or possess a talent for art and music but do not have the luxury of taking those classes outside of school. |
|
They will be taken the joy away or fail to fully develop their competence if their schools exclude art and music from the curriculum. The I agree!
|
|
After adulthood, these students might face working in a field that they are not passionate about or talented in, resulting in poor performance and low chances of professional success. |
|
Hence, taking out art and music classes can actually be counterproductive. |
|
Second, art and music classes can prepare children with useful skills for their employment prospects just like other subjects. |
|
By expressing their thoughts through painting and singing, children can enhance their creative and innovative thinking, which is what most employers seek when hiring. |
|
In addition, the notion that artistic skills are of no use and people cannot depend on them to make a living is untrue nowadays. |
|
Modern people love entertainment, so they spend a lot of money on games, cartoons, comics, and music. |
|
For example, many Tiktokers and Youtubers can attract millions of viewers and gain a lot of money just because they can sing or draw better than average people. |
|
In conclusion, schools should provide art and music classes so they can acquire a well-rounded education that allows all children to flourish in their areas of interest or aptitudes and equip them with creativity and artistic skills, which are in high demand in the current entertainment age. |
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