Dec. 21, 2020
Internet
In my eyes, there are so many benefits brought by computers. Firstly, because of the invention of computers, we have different ways to relax. For example, when we need to have some rest, we can watch dramas or play computer games. On top of that, it is more convenient for people to communicate. For example, we can communicate with our families who live far away from us and we can keep in touch with our friends or we can have conferences online. In this way, we don’t have to go to another city or go to the company, which can save time and money on transportation. What’s more, you can get so many resources through online research. For example, if you want to learn a new language, you don’t have to hire tutors or attend classes, you can find relevant materials online and study by yourself. However, online research also has so many drawbacks. Some apps contain malware which allow someone to hack into your computer. Besides, it is important to evaluate sites critically, so check who wrote the information and when. Most importantly, the Internet informs people what is happening in the world, not only the news about our homeland, but also the news about every corner of our world, which is a good way to enhance our horizon and become a well-informed person.
The Internet
In my eyesview, there are so many benefits brought on by computers.
Firstly, because of the invention of computers, wewe now have different ways to relax.
You do not have to repeat the invention of computers, because the readers already know that is what you're talking about. It's a good rule of thumb to economize your words to be less heavy and to keep your readers interested.
For example, when we need to have some rest, we canrelax, we can either watch dramas or play computer games.
On top of that, it isFurthermore, computers make it more convenient for people to communicate., especially ...
For example, we can communicate with our families who live far away from us and we can keep.... for families who live far away. It is also a great tool for staying in touch with our friends or we can havusing online conferences online.
you don't want to keep using "for example" all the time. It's more elegant to avoid repeating the same phrase.
In this way, wThese don’t have to go to another city or go to the company, which can save time and money on transportation.line tools help us save time and money on transportation, because we no longer have to travel for meetings.
What’s more, you can getthere are so many online resources through onlineo help us do research.
For examplinstance, if you want to learn a new language, you don’t necessarily have to hire a tutors or attend classes, as you can simply find relevant materials online and study byon yourself own.
HoweverWith that said, online research also has so many drawbacks.
Some apps contain malware whichthat allow someons people to hack into your computer.
Besides,That is why it is important to evaluate each sites critically, so check who wrote the information and when.arefully to determine if it is legitimate.
MThe most importantly, benefit of the I internet is to informs people what is happening in the world, not only the news about our homeland, but also the news about every corner of our world, which is a good way to enhancexpand our horizon and become a well-informed person.citizens.
Dec. 22, 2020
Thank you so much for your help ~
For example, when we need to have some resttake a break, we can watch dramas or play computer games.
'Take a break' sounds more natural
For example, we can communicate with our families who live far away from us and we can, keep in touch with our friends or we can have conferences online.
In this way, we don’t have to go to another city or go to the company, which can save us time and money on transportation.
For example, if you want to learn a new language, you don’t have to hire tutors or attend classes,; you can find relevant materials online and study by yourself.
However, online research also has so manyits drawbacks.
Some apps contain malware which allows someone to hack into your computer.
Feedback
Great writing! In terms of substance and grammar, you didn't make many mistakes, but I made some corrections in places that sound a bit awkward.
Dec. 22, 2020
Thank you so much~ I will review it now ~
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Internet The Internet |
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In my eyes, there are so many benefits brought by computers. In my |
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Firstly, because of the invention of computers, we have different ways to relax. Firstly, You do not have to repeat the invention of computers, because the readers already know that is what you're talking about. It's a good rule of thumb to economize your words to be less heavy and to keep your readers interested.
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For example, when we need to have some rest, we can watch dramas or play computer games. For example, when we need to 'Take a break' sounds more natural
For example, when we need to |
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On top of that, it is more convenient for people to communicate.
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For example, we can communicate with our families who live far away from us and we can keep in touch with our friends or we can have conferences online. For example, we can communicate with our families who live far away from us
you don't want to keep using "for example" all the time. It's more elegant to avoid repeating the same phrase.
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In this way, we don’t have to go to another city or go to the company, which can save time and money on transportation. In this way, we don’t have to go to another city or
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What’s more, you can get so many resources through online research. What’s more, |
|
For example, if you want to learn a new language, you don’t have to hire tutors or attend classes, you can find relevant materials online and study by yourself. For example, if you want to learn a new language, you don’t have to hire tutors or attend classes For |
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However, online research also has so many drawbacks. However, online research also has
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Some apps contain malware which allow someone to hack into your computer. Some apps contain malware which allows someone to hack into your computer. Some apps contain malware |
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Besides, it is important to evaluate sites critically, so check who wrote the information and when.
|
|
Most importantly, the Internet informs people what is happening in the world, not only the news about our homeland, but also the news about every corner of our world, which is a good way to enhance our horizon and become a well-informed person.
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