Feb. 19, 2021
I’m going to tell you about the story when I was ill
That happened when I was five years old. My teachers had prepared pools and water games to celebrate the end of the course, with water balloons, water guns, and all games. Everyone was so excited. The morning before the party I woke up and I started to put my swimming suit and then, my mother look at me carefully. She saw a little red spots all around my body. She asked me if I was feeling right, and I answered yes I am all right. But, she told me that I had chickenpox and I had to stay at home. I feel so sad for missed the party.
I’m going to tell you about thea story when I was ill
That happened when I was five years old.
It's better to turn this into one complete sentence by including the title.
My teachers had prepared pools and water games to celebrate the end of the course, with water balloons, and water guns, and all games.
the games were already mentioned in the first part of the sentence
Everyone was so excited.
The morning before the party I woke up and I started to put on my swimming suit and then, my mother looked at me carefully.
since this happened in the past, the verbs must be consistent.
She saw afound little red spots all aroundover my body.
She asked me if I was feeling right, and I answered yes I am all right.
But, she told me that I had chickenpox and I had to stay at home.
I feelt so sad forI missed the party.
Feedback
Great entry!
Feb. 19, 2021
Thank you!
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I’m going to tell you about the story when I was ill and I c |
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That happened when I was five years old. That happened when I was five years old. It's better to turn this into one complete sentence by including the title.
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My teachers had prepared pools and water games to celebrate the end of the course, with water balloons, water guns, and all games. My teachers had prepared pool the games were already mentioned in the first part of the sentence
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Everyone was so excited. |
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The morning before the party I woke up and I started to put my swimming suit and then, my mother look at me carefully. The morning before the party I woke up and I started to put on my swimming suit and then, my mother looked at me carefully. since this happened in the past, the verbs must be consistent.
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She saw a little red spots all around my body. She |
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She asked me if I was feeling right, and I answered yes I am all right. |
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But, she told me that I had chickenpox and I had to stay at home. |
|
I feel so sad for missed the party. I fe |
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I’m going to tell you about the story when I was ill I’m going to tell you about |
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