Essay: lLocal grant for the local school

Write your answer in 220-260 words and in and appropriate style.

Nowadays, tThe education system seems to be focusednowadays appears to be especially focused on scientific and technical subjects, rather than in the student's' education itself.

This along wWith the recent technological developments have, this has has often led to children's not to playing outside.

TIt is therefore, it is necessary to turn the situation around in order to improve our kid's' health and communication.

I'm changing it up to be less "talky"

Also, remember:
Kid's = One kid's thing(s)
Kids' = Multiple kids' thing(s)

In regard this topic, I recently heard a radio program where it was discussed how to spend the money that our town hall will give to the local school.

From this I could highlight two proposals: improveing the gym and buying more computers for the computer lab.

Either choose "improving the gym and buying[...]" or "improve the gym and buy [...]" :)

To my way of thinking,Personally I do not see any point ofin spending thise grant inton a matter that is part of the daily life of most students currently, that is, which would be the computer class.

The importance of technology is often overestimated, in fact. I oppose most of opinions in the radio program were opposite to mine, for example one of the participant said that, for example the one where computer science iswould be essential nowadays.

Is it really needed for children to learn how to do programmeing?

I do not think so, in't agree. In my opinion it would be worthibetter to use this grant aton balancing the countless amount of hours that students are sit in front of their screens, bywith means of exercising and playing sports.

For thatis reason, I would rather spend thise money to renew the sports equipment, and doing work s well as improving the school gym.

As I hearwas said in the radio discussion,; exercise and group sports are vital, not only for our kid's' health, but also to a better communication face to face.

In conclusion, local authorities should be aware of the real needs of children, soand fund they schould fund a place to keep in shape rather than extraol gym in order to keep the children in shape, instead of adding more hours with a computers.

Nowadays, the education system seems to be more focused especially on scientific and technical subjects, rather than ion the student's education itself.

This, along with the recent technological developments have often led, [has limited the amount of opportunities for children's not to play outside.doors.]

Therefore, it is necessary to turn[change some aspects of the situeducation aroundsystem] in order to improve our kidchildren's health and communication.

"kid" suena demaisado informal

In regard to this topic, I recently heardlistened to a radio program where it was discussed[the subject of how to spend the money that/funds given by our town hall will give to the local school was discussed].

From this I could highlight two proposals: improveing the gym and buying more computers for the computer lab.

aquí hay que usar el gerundio.

To my way of thinking, I do not see any point of spending this grant into a matteron something that is already part of the daily life of most students currently, that is the(to say), computer classes.

The importance of technology is often overestimexaggerated, i. In fact, most of opinions in the program were opposite to mine, f/ most of the opinions...differed from mine. For example, one of the participants said that computer science is essential nowadays.

Is it really needed for children[Do children really need to learn how to programme?ing?]

I do not think so, i. In my opinion, it would be worthiermore worthwhile to use this grant at balancing countlessin [reducing the hours that students are sitspend in front of their screens], by means of/through exercising and playing sports.

For that reason, I would rather spend this money ton renewing the sports equipment and doing work in the school gym.

As I heard in the discussion, exercise and group sports are vital, not only for our kidchildren's health but to a betteralso for improving their face-to-face communication face to face.skills

In conclusion, local authorities should be aware of the real needs of children, so. As such, they should fund a place to keep in shape rather than extra hours withand continue to maintain it [rather than increasing the workload of children with classes that require a computer.]