English novel_Mother and Uncle

Unlike my other friends, I don't have my father. I'm not sure why but I don't have him from the first.

" Mom, where is dad? I wonder why I don't have dad unlike my friends."

" Listen Jay, I couldn't even think about my life with a person, say, it's your dad. I know it's hard to understand now to you but probably, there is another chance to tell you."

Since then, I kept being quiet about it not to get mom recalled about what she had decided something before. The memory wouldn't be pleasant to her, I assume.

"Jay, one thing you need to know. Mom chose you and don't regret it. So, stretch your back and keep walking to the world like a man."

In fact, I'm not shrunk because I don't have dad. I understand there are a few more family types which are not the same as, so called 'a normal family' type. I sometimes think about the normal thing. Does the 'normal' means 'common'? Do you agree with it? I don't think so. I know we are living in the democratic capital world and it supports common society. So it is important to have public support in our time. The normal is to have support from the most people. But it is not the 100% support. There is a definite minority voice. Maybe, my mother and even my uncle would belong to the minor group.

Why my uncle? I think he is the most strong minority in the world. He also has a daughter but he doesn't have a wife. A divorce? No! He delivered his daughter. Do you think I'm kidding you? I'm serious, unfortunately. He gave a birth to his daughter. How it can be? He was a she originally. When he was a she, he felt something strange inside. After quite a while, he understood he was born to be a he and got a sex exchange surgery. But the surgery didn't give him a perfect transformation. He had a breast removal surgery so his appearance was closer to a man and with the help of male hormone, he looked like the more perfect man. But, he couldn't remove his womb inside. He appeared to live sometimes without thinking about it but he realized it when he was badly lonely on a day. Soon, he decided to make a family and started to seek sperms. One day, he, at last, could reach a helpful hand: a sperm bank. He instantly stopped jabbing of male hormone and tried to be a mom by taking care of his daughter so she didn't feel the empty of her mother. He was so happy when he looked at his daughter growing but some times he felt so sorry to his daughter since she had to bear some bias from the eyes in the village. His daughter became a small talker and a quieter. He worried about her and it's much painful for him to look at his daughter in the center of all the bias. He was okay when he got the surgery. He though it didn't matter how cold the eyes from the neighbor could be as it was more important to retrieve himself.

"Daddy, why I don't have mom?"

"Oh, Mirae, you have your aunt instead."

"Aunt can't be mom..."

"Of course but... there are many things you can't understand in the world. One day, I do hope I could tell you some."

The day was raining. Mirae's house was right opposite side from our house. She was looking at the outside from the window. I could see her feeling down with a sorrowful face via the window in my room. I suddenly felt I wanted to be with her and try to listen to what she was concerning. So I ran down to the first floor and snatched an umbrella from the holder then quickly crossed the street. Soon, I could arrive right below the window she was looking down. I tried to let her know I was standing there. She moved her eyes down and her eyes met my ones. I said "Would you like to come down? I want to be with you. I might be a good listener to you." she glanced down on me and disappeared from my sight. There was a stamping noise inside and the front door was open. We walked along the stepping stones leading to the back yard where a bench was under the roof. We sat down on the bench and an empty moment was filled with a silence for a while.

"What is wrong with you? You look unhappy!"

"Life can't always be happy and now it's the moment. That's all."

"May I ask what made you unhappy?"

"I don't have mom, you know."

"But you have dad instead."

"I envy you. You have mom instead."

"So you are sad?"

"No, it just hurts me. The eyes and lips from people, though now I'm aware where their whispers were originated from. It was because of him, my father."

"Do you mind letting me know some?"

"Later maybe."

"Okay, just call me if you need someone to talk to. Now, you look less unhappy at least."

I couldn't tell her about what I know about him, my uncle and her father. Mirae, one day, comes to know that her father was her mother once, though he was now her father. I know how hard she is. Even when I encountered the fact first time, I was also shocked and couldn't believe it.

"Sister, can't you be on my side even though all the people point a finger at me?"

"Can't you live just like the normal? I'm very confused and ..."

"Who decide the normal? So are you happy because you are normal? FrankIey saying, you are also an extraordinary person just like me, aren't you? I know I'm special but no one can blame on me as I'm the special."

"My case is acceptable but your case is obviously not! You were once my cute little sister. How I can accept you who want to be my brother in a day?"

"What's the difference between us? You know? I will have my baby. I'm seeking sperms in the bank. Now, same same!"

"Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, I already expected your that kind of reaction but... Okay, now I admit I'm the super special but I feel sad a little. You are the same as you in the younger age. There was a time I needed your tender eyes. It was only thing I wanted from you back then. But now we are the grown-ups. I thought you could understand me. You are the person, at least, living with your own will fighting against the eyes from the most who claim they are the normal. Hope you could understand me one day."

Since then, I realized I was the son of a Mr. unknown and my mother even didn't need to know. Now I understand why she said she 'CHOSE' me. I may try to find out the Mr. unknown but I don't want it as it could be considered that I blame my mother's selection. I'm truly on her side. I don't want to let her down in any way. For my aunt, no uncle, I tried to accept it as I thought it was a kind of mistake by God and it was just a thing that he wanted to recover the mistake. It was not his fault originally, you know. I don't understand why the same creatures push out a person because the one is made differently by God's mistake. I think people are the complex of bias and arrogance. They don't even know a tip of unfortunateness that comes in the nearer future of them. That is why we have to be humble so. By the way, how I can explain about this to Mirae?


My mom is a fighter against the world: the bias from company, communities where she belongs to. I know she is a strong-minded person. I believe that is why she made the decision so beforeㅡgiving a birth to me without the help of male, more correctly saying, without the physical help of male. It could be dispirited for males, I assume, as a boy. Perhaps she would be punished by God as she was dare to glance God's realm. No, she must be suffering the punishment since she has been taking care of meㅡthe seed of her suffering and her responsibility. Despite of all the bias, she has been living proudly by herself.


The night, mom and I were deep sleeping as much as we didn't know even someone broke in. As usual, mom was sleeping in her room in the 1st floor and I was sleeping in my room in the 2nd floor. On a sudden, I woke up from a strange noise in the 1st floor. I opened the door and staggered down rubbing my sleepy eyes. At the moment, I could heard a voice that I never heard before: "You poor lady, I know you like my thick and long bat one day!" Soon, I was freezing with fear but the voice quickly disappeared with a bang from the front door. I couldn't move at all but I worried about mother so I rushed to move my legs to her room. She sat down with a vacant look and tangled hair, and started to cry out soon after she found me. I went to her to hug her but mom hugged me tightly as I reached near her and said "It's nothing..nothing.. so you don't need to be scary, Jay." After a few days, I heard some about the noise on the night in my house: A suspicious shadow sneaked in her room and tried to donate his sperms to her without her consent. But it was failed due to her determined resistance. Since the night, mom frayed her nerve about home security. There are some people who want to force to beg consent. Maybe, they would have never consented or been consented. Why some can't even think there are always some others on their opposite side? I feel sometimes a difference means enemy and death. People have never agreed with some on the other side but they just kill or strongly or less strongly force the opponents to be on their side. Do you think I'm saying about old stuff in the middle age? It has not been changed anything since we started to live on earth.


"Mom! Thank you for choosing me!"

One morning after that event, I wanted to let mom know that I was earnestly on her side.

"Oh, what's the matter with you, son? What led you to that thinking?"

"I just want you to know I'm on your side, always."

"I'm sorry, Jay. Mom should have been careful to say that but happy to know that you seem to understand some."

"Don't worry, mom. I will protect you!"

"From what?"

"From the people on the other side."

"Jay, listen, mom is stronger than you think and mom will protect you from whatever. So please never say that again!"

"Mom, I'm also a man, though it will take some more time to fully take care of you!"

"Thank you, son...now let's have a breakfast then go to school."


Mom hurried to cut our talk and prepared some food. She seemed a bit embarrassed but I didn't really want to let her feel uncomfortable. Maybe, she would think that I should be stay in the young boy's world not in the man's world. I know taking beyond the borders is always to be difficult and even dangerous. Maybe, she doesn't want me to do that just like her as it's the hardest way to live on.

People carefully whispered behind mom and me since Mr. unknown wasn't with us. I don't know why mom doesn't leave this damn town and move to other one where nobody knows she selected a different way from the common like them. She was born and grown in this town so some could see her life partially but not entirelyㅡI know it's impossible to be fully understood by others or even by oneself. Mom was grown from a poor family. Grand ma and grand pa struggled to survive in the harsh world with their children so they didn't have much extra energy to take delicately care of their children. Mom was lonely even though her younger sister was with her. Just like her parents, she was not considerate that much. Unlike mom, her little sister sought her love always sticking to her, as if she needed to fill out her empty heart which wasn't filled with the love from her parents. But mom filled the lonely time with her own particular undauntedness by only focusing on her thoughts: for instance, escaping from the current life with family. She thought the only way to escape from the poor family was to marry with an ordinary man who had no worry about earning to live on so she tried to have a chance to meet several gentlemen. But there was a huge gap between her thoughts and the gentlemen's thoughts. They just wanted to steel her physical beauty but didn't want to marry with her. She was deeply frustrated as much as she was eatless and sleepless. After a certain hard time, one early morning, she moved her steps to the street and didn't come back to the house for quite a long time. But, on a sudden day, she came back to the house, with a different figure. Her parents and little sister were surprised at her figure. There was a baby inside herㅡit was me. Some awkward days passed and she was accepted again as the member in the family as before. Grand parents didn't ask anything about me inside her but took care of me very well as soon as I came out to the world, as if they compensated and comforted mom.


Knock knock!

​"Who's there?"

"It's me..Jake."

"Come in."

"Sister, I'm worrying about Mirae."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She feels empty due to the absence of mother. Should I tell her about it?"

"Do you think Mirae would accept it?"

"She may not...Perhaps she would be in a big chaos in an instant.."

"I don't think it's not a good idea to tell the truth this time. Why don't you try to sound her out telling it as if it were not the case of you?"

"How do I do if Mirae thinks I'm a monster?"

"Jake, you can't lose your mind. You chose your own way and did it. Do you regret?"

"Not at all but I'm just worrying if my selection would hurt Mirae."

"You chose the different way from others and you bear with it anyway. Just take your responsibility!"

"What a good damn lesson for me....Okay..enough.."

"What do you want me to say then?"

"Gotta go!"

Bang!


To be continued..