heyyawn's avatar
heyyawn

July 28, 2021

0
Procrastination (pt.1)

I clearly remember that the first time I learned the word "procrastination" is in a moral education class. The teacher showed us as a TED titled "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator". After that, procrastination entered my life – in my work, in the videos and articles I read about procrastination, they all liked to quote the monkey story from the speech. The speaker tells that procrastinators have a monkey and a man in their heads. The Instant Gratification Monkey always tries to catch rational decision-maker's attention, stop him from working but to play. When the deadline came, a big monster appeared to scare the monkeys away and put the rational person to work right away.
I have to say it's an interesting story, but I think it is partially correct. When something we hate or are bored with has to be done, this monkey starts messing around and encourages us to do totally unrelated fun and easy things, which makes sense. But when we do something that we love but is difficult, why does that monkey also appear? This delay is often the result of spending a bunch of time learning "relevant material", but having little output and moving the project forward. I don't think that monkey would want me to be entertained by reading "relevant materials". I don't think this procrastination is the work of this monkey. I think it's more like a monster that's just trying to get me to lose my momentum. So I wonder this monster looks like.

diarytalkingtomyself
Corrections

Procrastination (pt.1)

I clearly remember that the first time I learned the word "procrastination" is in a moral education class.

You can say 'that' as well as 'the' but not really necessary in this context.

The teacher showed us as a TED Talk titled "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator".

I only included 'Talk' hcan be used to abbreviate:-)ere as a lot of people would not know what a 'Ted' is. Some might think it is a teddy bear which Ted

After that, procrastination entered my life – in my work, in the videos and articles I read about procrastination, they all liked to quote the monkey story from the speechTed Talk.

Changed speech to Ted Talk for consistency as some may ask 'what speech?'.

The speaker tells that procrastinators have a monkey and a man in their heads.

This isn't wrong as such but I would say 'tells us' just for clarity.

The Instant Gratification Monkey always tries to catch the rational decision-maker's attention, to stop him from working butand to play instead.

Article 'the' missing and it flows a little better by saying to...and to play instead. However, it depends on the actual wording of the presentation and yours may be the same.

When the deadline came, a big monster appeared to scare the monkeys away and put the rational person to work right away.

What deadline, there wasn't one mentioned previously? I would maybe say 'a deadline' instead of 'the deadline' as it is less specific. Alternatively explain what deadline you are referring to.

I have to say it's an interesting story, but I think it is only partially correct.

What you said isn't wrong but by inserting 'only' you are introuding a possible argument as to why.

When something we hate or are bored with has to be done, this monkey starts messing around and encourages us to do totally unrelated fun and easy things, which makes sense.

I would finish the sentence with..'which makes sense if we hate a task or are bored.' This just links your sense statement back to the opening comment

But when we do something that we love but which is difficult, why does that monkey also appear?

Including 'which' helps it flow a little smoother.

This delayProcrastination is often the result of spending a bunch oftoo much time learning "relevant material", but having little output andor progress moving the project forward.

Not clear what delay you are referring to. Procrastination brings your analysis full circle back to the beginning.

I don't think that monkey would want me to be entertained by reading "relevant materials".

I don't think this procrastination is the work of this monkey.

Your sentence isn't incorrect. However, it is a little specific in terms of a particular (this) monkey. This is about a concept and not a specific animal

I think it's more like a monster that's just trying to get me to lose my momentum.

So I wonder what this monster would looks like.

This is an incomplete sentence without 'what'. As it is not a specific situation right now, it would either be 'looked like' (past tense) or would look like' (future tense)

Feedback

Hi heyyawn.

This is a very well written piece and whilst it may seem I have made a lot of corrections. In reality it is not so much if you look at how much of it is mainly stylistic and not technical related.

Well done

heyyawn's avatar
heyyawn

Aug. 3, 2021

0

Thank you for the corrections. Your feedback is very clear :)

Diary

I am gonna write a story about procrastination.

Procrastination (pt.1)

I clearly remember that the first time I learned the word "procrastination" is in a moral education class.

I clearly remember that the first time I learned the word "procrastination" is in a moral education class.

The teacher showed us as a TED titled "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator".

The teacher showed us as a TED Talk titled "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator".

After that, procrastination entered my life – in my work, in the videos and articles I read about procrastination, they all liked to quote the monkey story from the speech.

After that, procrastination entered my life – in my work, in the videos and articles I read about procrastination, they all liked to quote the monkey story from the speechTed Talk.

The speaker tells that procrastinators have a monkey and a man in their heads.

The speaker tells that procrastinators have a monkey and a man in their heads.

The Instant Gratification Monkey always tries to catch rational decision-maker's attention, stop him from woking but to play.

When the deadline came, a big monster appeared to scare the monkeys away and put the rational person to work right away.

When the deadline came, a big monster appeared to scare the monkeys away and put the rational person to work right away.

I have to say it's an interesting story, but I think it is partially correct.

I have to say it's an interesting story, but I think it is only partially correct.

When something we hate or are bored with has to be done, this monkey starts messing around and encourages us to do totally unrelated fun and easy things, which makes sense.

When something we hate or are bored with has to be done, this monkey starts messing around and encourages us to do totally unrelated fun and easy things, which makes sense.

But when we do something that we love but is difficult, why does that monkey also appear?

But when we do something that we love but which is difficult, why does that monkey also appear?

This delay is often the result of spending a bunch of time learning "relevant material", but having little output and moving the project forward.

This delayProcrastination is often the result of spending a bunch oftoo much time learning "relevant material", but having little output andor progress moving the project forward.

I don't think that monkey would want me to be entertained by reading "relevant materials".

I don't think this procrastination is the work of this monkey.

I don't think this procrastination is the work of this monkey.

I think it's more like a monster that's just trying to get me to lose my momentum.

So I wonder this monster looks like.

So I wonder what this monster would looks like.

The Instant Gratification Monkey always tries to catch rational decision-maker's attention, stop him from working but to play.

The Instant Gratification Monkey always tries to catch the rational decision-maker's attention, to stop him from working butand to play instead.

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