ponta's avatar
ponta

June 23, 2021

217
Day Twenty-Three

The most expensive things I've spent money on are archery tools. I had played archery for five years. The tools were expensive because they were made of carbon or aluminum alloy and required high accuracy. An archery bow consists of many parts, and the main parts are the handle, limbs, stabilizer, and sight. Additionally, limbs, which are upper and lower parts and bent to shoot an arrow, need to change due to my drawing power. Arrows are expensive and they are expendables, too. Arrows for competitive use are made of an aluminum core and carbon fibers. Sometimes I shot an arrow on another arrow, and break it. One arrow costs about 45 dollars, and one package is one dozen. During the five years, I bought countless arrows. I'm scared to count up how much I spent on archery...

Corrections

Day Twenty-Three

The most expensive things I've spent money on are archery toolsupplies.

"tools" isn't very bad here, but supplies or gear or equipment fit better. A tool is something very... productive. You use it to accomplish a useful task. A bow could be a tool - if you are a hunter, you might say your bow and arrows are the tools of your trade - but "archery tools" in this sentence sounds more like you mean sets of wrenches and pliers that you use to adjust your bow, something like that.

"were archery supplies" might be better, but present tense is okay.

I had playedid archery for five years.

If you were talking about a specific time you bought something, past perfect would be okay. "The most expensive thing I ever bought was a bow. When I bought it (on that specific day), I had done archery for five years." Although it would be more natural to say "had been doing archery".

But I think you just mean "There were five years of my life where I did archery, and during those years I bought many things." Simple past is what you want for that.

"did archery" seems most natural to me, but you could say "competed in archery" if you want to emphasise it as a sport. "played" sounds strange.

The toolsupplies were expensive because they were made of carbon or aluminum alloy and required high accuracy.

An archery bow consists of many parts, and the main parts are the handle, limbs, stabilizer, and sight.

Additionally, the limbs, which are the upper and lower parts andthat bentd to shoot an arrows, neoften needed to be change due tod with my drawing power.

I think you mean this. Matching tense "needed" since you're talking about your actions in the past. "due to" is okay but to be clear it should be something like "needed to be changed due to changes in my drawing power" - talking about them changing *with* your drawing power is a natural way to express the idea.

Arrows are expensive and they are expendables, too.

Arrows for competitive use are made of an aluminum core and carbon fibers.

Sometimes I shot an arrow on another arrow, and breakoke it.

Needs the change for past tense, but this sentence is okay. It's a little awkward, though. Would be nicer to say something like "shot an arrow through another arrow" or "hit an arrow with another arrow".

One arrow costs about 45 dollars, and onethey come in package is onef a dozen.

Much more natural way to say this.

During the five years, I bought countless arrows.

I'm scared to count up how much I spent on archery...

Feedback

Well written, just minor stuff.

I've always been interested in archery, but $45 for an arrow? Wow. It's probably for the best that I never got into it!

ponta's avatar
ponta

June 24, 2021

217

Thank you for your polite correction!
There are also more reasonable supplies for enjoying archery. The pleasant feeling when I could shoot the center of target is unforgettable, so I hope you would enjoy archery someday :)

Day Twenty-Three

The most expensive things I've spent money on are archery tools.

The most expensive things I've spent money on are archery toolsupplies.

I had played archery for five years.

I had playedid archery for five years.

The tools were expensive because they were made of carbon or aluminum alloy and required high accuracy.

The toolsupplies were expensive because they were made of carbon or aluminum alloy and required high accuracy.

An archery bow consists of many parts, and the main parts are the handle, limbs, stabilizer, and sight.

Additionally, limbs, which are upper and lower parts and bent to shoot an arrow, need to change due to my drawing power.

Additionally, the limbs, which are the upper and lower parts andthat bentd to shoot an arrows, neoften needed to be change due tod with my drawing power.

Arrows are expensive and they are expendables, too.

Arrows for competitive use are made of an aluminum core and carbon fibers.

Arrows for competitive use are made of an aluminum core and carbon fibers.

Sometimes I shot an arrow on another arrow, and break it.

Sometimes I shot an arrow on another arrow, and breakoke it.

One arrow costs about 45 dollars, and one package is one dozen.

One arrow costs about 45 dollars, and onethey come in package is onef a dozen.

During the five years, I bought countless arrows.

I'm scared to count up how much I spent on archery...

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