heyyawn's avatar
heyyawn

June 9, 2021

0
CHALLENGE 10

There are no windows in my dormitory, but there is a balcony.
There are some trees next to the building, where many birds living there. Lately, it always rains. These birds seemed to be excited and were hovering near the ground. It was fun to watch a flock of birds flying around and it made me feel like a magician in an animation who can control animals. A little farther away is the school fence. To the left, where I can't see, the fence there is where we go over to leave the school. Beyond the fence was a street with two recently decommissioned bus stops on either side of the street, and greenbelts on both sides of the street. Across the street there is an elementary school that was just built this year and this school is already in use. The radio of the elementary school is so loud that I can hear it very clearly in my dormitory, which is very annoying. Further away are houses to be demolished, and next to them are houses that have already been torn down - already in ruins. There are still some buildings in the distance, and firecrackers and fireworks are often set off there. At the far end are mountains, and in wet weather there are clouds surrounding the peaks.

herausforderungen
Corrections

CHALLENGE 10

There are no windows in my dormitory, but there is a balcony.

There are some trees next to the building, where many birds are living there.

Lately, it always rains.

I think this is grammatically correct, but "Lately, it is always raining" sounds a bit better.

These birds seemed to be excited and were hovering near the ground.

It was fun to watch a flock of birds flying around and it made me feel like a magician in an animation who can control animals.

A little farther away is the school fence.

To the left, where I can't see, is the fence there is where we go over to leave the school.

Instead of "go over" do you mean "climb over"? Alternatively:
"To the left, where I can't see, is the fence where we exit the school."

Beyond the fence was a street with two recently decommissioned bus stops on either side of the street, and greenbelts on both sides of the street.

Across the street there is an elementary school that was just built this year and this school is already in use.

The radio of the elementary school is so loud that I can hear it very clearly in my dormitory, which is very annoying.

Instead of "radio", perhaps "loudspeaker" or "PA" would be better?

Further away are houses to be demolished, and next to them are houses that have already been torn down - already in ruins.

There are still someome other buildings in the distance, and firecrackers and fireworks are often set off there.

Your sentence is correct, but this correct sounds a bit more natural

At the far end are mountains, and in wet weather there are clouds surrounding the peaks.

Feedback

Nice work! Well written.

heyyawn's avatar
heyyawn

June 9, 2021

0

To the left, where I can't see, is the fence there is where we go over to leave the school.

Instead of "go over" do you mean "climb over"? Alternatively:
"To the left, where I can't see, is the fence where we exit the school."

climb over

Thank you very much for the corrections!

CHALLENGE 10

There are no windows in my dormitory, but there is a balcony.

There are some trees next to the building, where many birds living there.

There are some trees next to the building, where many birds are living there.

Lately, it always rains.

Lately, it always rains.

These birds seemed to be excited and were hovering near the ground.

It was fun to watch a flock of birds flying around and it made me feel like a magician in an animation who can control animals.

A little farther away is the school fence.

To the left, where I can't see, the fence there is where we go over to leave the school.

To the left, where I can't see, is the fence there is where we go over to leave the school.

Beyond the fence was a street with two recently decommissioned bus stops on either side of the street, and greenbelts on both sides of the street.

Across the street there is an elementary school that was just built this year and this school is already in use.

Across the street there is an elementary school that was just built this year and this school is already in use.

The radio of the elementary school is so loud that I can hear it very clearly in my dormitory, which is very annoying.

The radio of the elementary school is so loud that I can hear it very clearly in my dormitory, which is very annoying.

Further away are houses to be demolished, and next to them are houses that have already been torn down - already in ruins.

There are still some buildings in the distance, and firecrackers and fireworks are often set off there.

There are still someome other buildings in the distance, and firecrackers and fireworks are often set off there.

At the far end are mountains, and in wet weather there are clouds surrounding the peaks.

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