April 12, 2020
Candy
There was a movie, Cinderella, on TV today. Cinderella is the first fairy tale that I read as a child. The book was by Disney so the picture was beautiful. I was so impressed with how beautiful the picture and the story were that I became a fan of Cinderella immediately. I had my dad buy a one-legged plastic high-heel shoe figurine that was a motif of a glass slipper of Cinderella and believed if I keep it, a nice prince would come over to me and bring the other shoe for marriage. There were two big candies in the shoe, but I left them as they were without eating.
I thought I would give one candy to my prince when he came to see me.
How many year have passed since then? If the shoe is still in my parents' house, that candies would rot.
I should've eaten them.
😆😆
キャンディー
今日、テレビでシンデレラの映画をやっていた。シンデレラは私が子供の頃、初めて読んだ童話である。ディズニーの絵本なので絵がきれいで、私はその物語と絵の美しさですぐにシンデレラの大ファンになった。父親に片足だけの、プラスチックでできたガラスの靴をモチーフにした置物を買ってもらった。この靴を持っていれば、いつか素敵な王子様がもう片方を持って、求婚しに来てくれると信じていた。
その靴の中には大きなキャンディーが２個入っていたが、私は食べずにそのまま取っておいた。王子様が迎えに来たとき1個あげようと思っていた。
あれから何年経っただろうか。実家にあの靴がまだあるのなら、多分、あのキャンディーはもう腐ってるだろう。
食べときゃよかった。
😆😆
Candy
There was a movie, Cinderella, on TV today.
Cinderella is the first fairy tale that I read as a child.
The book was byased on the Disney movie, so the pictures wasere beautiful.
I was so impressed with how beautiful the pictures and the story were that I became a fan of Cinderella immediately.
I had my dad buy a one-legged plastic high-heel shoe figurine that was a motif of afigurine in plastic figurine that wore a single glass slipper oflike Cinderella and believed that if I keept it, a nice prince would come over to me and bring the other shoe for marriage.to me and ask me to marry him.
There were two big pieces of candiesy in the shoe, but I left them as they were without eating them.
Candy is usually referred to as a whole. Pieces of candy would be more correct, although candies is used in informal contexts.
I thought I would give one candy to my prince when he came to see me.
How many years have passed since then?
If the shoe is still in my parents' house, thatose candies would rothave rotten by now.
I should've eaten them.
😆😆
Feedback
Bravo ! Very interesting text.
April 13, 2020
Thank you for the corrections! I'm glad to learn about candy!😄
Candy
There was a movie, Cinderella, onCinderella, the movie, was playing on the TV today.
Your sentence makes sense grammatically but sounds unnatural in my opinion. Specifying that Cinderella is a movie is also optional as most listeners know that Cinderella is a movie.
Cinderella is the first fairy tale that I read as a child.
The book was by Walt Disney so the pictures wasere beautiful.
"By" is used colloquially so if you're speaking to someone or you're writing informal text, using "by" as the verb is fine. In more formal writing, it's usually proper to include a more descriptive verb (in this case, it would be "the book was illustrated by..."). Also, Disney usually refers to the company while Walt Disney refers to the person :)
I was so impressed with how beautiful the pictures and the story were that I became a fan of Cinderella immediately.
I had my dad buy a one-legged plastic high-heel shoe figurine that was a motif of a glass slipper ofMy dad bought me a plastic figurine that wore a single high-heel shoe like Cinderella and. I believed that if I keept it, a nice prince would come over to me and bring the other shoe for marriageto me and ask me to marry him.
In my opinion, "I had my dad buy" is okay to use colloquially but in formal writing, you may want to consider phrasing it differently. For a journal post such as this, you can feel free to use either "I had my dad buy" or "my dad bought me" since this seems rather informal. One-legged refers to someone with one leg but I'm assuming you don't mean that. Was the figurine only wearing one shoe? A motif can refer to a type of design/pattern or a specific type of technique used in writing so I'm not sure you meant to say that. Please let me know if I'm wrong!
There were two big candies in the shoe, but I didn't eat them and left them as they were without eating.
I thought I would give one candy to my prince when he came to see me.
How many years have passed since then?
If the shoe is still in my parents' house, thate candies would've rot by now.
Alternatively, you can also write "the candies would've become rotten by now"
I should've eaten them.
😆😆
Feedback
Good job :)
April 13, 2020
Thank you for the corrections and the detail explanations! 😄 It's very helpful.
Yes my figurine was one shoe, not a pair of shoes.
We often use “motif” in Japanese, but I knew here it's different from English “motif”😆
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Candy |
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There was a movie, Cinderella, on TV today.
Your sentence makes sense grammatically but sounds unnatural in my opinion. Specifying that Cinderella is a movie is also optional as most listeners know that Cinderella is a movie.
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Cinderella is the first fairy tale that I read as a child. |
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The book was by Disney so the picture was beautiful. The book was b The book was by Walt Disney so the pictures w "By" is used colloquially so if you're speaking to someone or you're writing informal text, using "by" as the verb is fine. In more formal writing, it's usually proper to include a more descriptive verb (in this case, it would be "the book was illustrated by..."). Also, Disney usually refers to the company while Walt Disney refers to the person :)
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I was so impressed with how beautiful the picture and the story were that I became a fan of Cinderella immediately. I was so impressed with how beautiful the pictures and the story were that I became a fan of Cinderella immediately. I was so impressed with how beautiful the pictures and |
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I had my dad buy a one-legged plastic high-heel shoe figurine that was a motif of a glass slipper of Cinderella and believed if I keep it, a nice prince would come over to me and bring the other shoe for marriage. I had my dad buy a
In my opinion, "I had my dad buy" is okay to use colloquially but in formal writing, you may want to consider phrasing it differently. For a journal post such as this, you can feel free to use either "I had my dad buy" or "my dad bought me" since this seems rather informal. One-legged refers to someone with one leg but I'm assuming you don't mean that. Was the figurine only wearing one shoe? A motif can refer to a type of design/pattern or a specific type of technique used in writing so I'm not sure you meant to say that. Please let me know if I'm wrong!
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There were two big candies in the shoe, but I left them as they were without eating. There were two big pieces of cand Candy is usually referred to as a whole. Pieces of candy would be more correct, although candies is used in informal contexts.
There were two big candies in the shoe, but I didn't eat them and left them as they were |
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I thought I would give one candy to my prince when he came to see me. |
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How many year have passed since then? How many years have passed since then? How many years have passed since then? |
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If the shoe is still in my parents' house, that candies would rot. If the shoe is still in my parents' house, th If the shoe is still in my parents' house, th Alternatively, you can also write "the candies would've become rotten by now"
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I should've eaten them. |
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😆😆 |
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