dethlue's avatar
dethlue

Oct. 8, 2020

1
Bus Rides

When I was little, I went to school by bus. It was a private school, and I lived a couple of miles away from my home. Because my family had no car, and to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning was a dangerous business back in the time, every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation. Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.
When I entered high school, though, this changed. My parents still worried about how I would get to school, and they tried signing me up for school transportation again. The bus, however, would always get jammed in traffic, and I would arrive late at school, which I always hated. It was then that I decided that I had to use common public transportation. I remember feeling very anxious the first time I had to ride the bus by myself. I had to catch it really early to avoid the traffic, and no matter how sleepy I felt, I would spend the whole ride staring wide eyed out of the window, afraid that I would miss my stop.
In the past, using public transportation was really inconvenient. You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was going to arrive, but nowadays they made things much easier. The buses have GPS whose signals can be tracked by multiple apps and they are hardly wrong.
In the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people would sleep in the bus! Aren't they afraid they could miss their stops? How do they know how long they could sleep? Aren't they worried people could think that they look silly when they are taking a nap? That lasted for about three weeks. After that, I got used to riding buses, and I would take books to read and, if the traffic was really bad, I could just take a sketchbook and draw while I waited to arrive at my stop. After I entered college, I even began to sleep on the bus.
I know they aren't the most comfortable places ever, and some people just don't seem to grasp the basic etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel. You don't have to worry about the traffic, you don't have to worry about all the other nutcases on the street... You just pay your fare, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Corrections

Bus Rides

When I was little, I went to school by bus.

It was a private school, and I livedit was a couple of miles away from my home.

Because my family had no car, I hand to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning. This was a dangerous business back inat the time, e. Every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation.

Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.

When I entered high school, though, this changed.

My parents still worried about how I would get to school, and they tried signing me up for school transportation again.

The bus, however, would always get jammed in traffic, and I would arrive late at school, which I always hated.

It was then that I decided that I had to use common public transportation.

I remember feeling very anxious the first time I had to ride the bus by myself.

I had to catch it really early to avoid the traffic, and no matter how sleepy I felt, I would spend the whole ride staring wide eyed out of the window, afraid that I would miss my stop.

In the past, using public transportation was really inconvenient.

You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was even going to arrive, but nowadays they've made things much easier.

The buses have GPSes whose signals can be tracked by multiple apps and they are hardly ever wrong.

In the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people wcould sleep in the bus!

Aren't they afraid they cwould miss their stops?

How do they know how long they cshould sleep?

Aren't they worried people could think that they look silly when they awere taking a nap?

That lasted for about three weeks.

After that, I got used to riding buses, and I would take books to read and, if the traffic was really bad, I could just take a sketchbook and draw while I waited to arrive at my stop.

After I entered college, I even began to sleep on the bus.

I know they aren't the most comfortable places ever, and some people just docan't seem to grasp the basic etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel.

"don't seem to grasp" is correct, but "can't seem to grasp" is a common and set phrase.

You don't have to worry about the traffic, you don't have to worry about all the other nutcases on the street... You just pay your fare, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Feedback

Very well written! I also like bus rides for this reason.

dethlue's avatar
dethlue

Oct. 9, 2020

1

Thank you for your correction! ^^

When I was little, I wentused to go to school by bus.

I changed to I used to go to school, instead of I went to school. I went sounds more like you did it one. I used to go represents something you did habitually. It is the difference between the past imperfect tense versus just the past tense.

It was a private school, and I lived a couple of miles away from my home.

You combined two completely unrelated thoughts into one sentence. The fact that the school is located a couple of miles away has nothing to do with the fact that it is a private school.

Because my family had no car, and to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning was a dangerous business back in the time, every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation.my parents used to sign me up for school transportation, as it was dangerous to walk to school early in the morning back in those days.

Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.

WHowever, when I entered high school, though, thisis all changed.

My parents were still worried about how I would get to school, and they tried to signing me up again for school transportation again., but the bus would always get stuck in traffic, thus causing me to be late at school, which I always hated.

I combined this sentence with the next one as they flow better together. At your advanced level, I think you can start focusing on not only the grammar, but also how your sentences and thoughts flow.

The bus, however, would always get jammed in traffic, and I would arrive late at school, which I always hated.

It was then that I decided that I had to use common public transportation.

I remember feeling very anxious the first time I had to ride the bus by myself.

I had to catch it really early to avoid the traffic, and no matter how sleepy I felt, I would spend the whole ride staring wide -eyed out of the window, afraid that I would miss my stop.

This sentence is very nicely written.

In the past, using public transportation was really inconvenient.

You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was even going to arrive at all, but nowadays, they madke things much easier.

The buses have GPS whose signals can be tracked by multiple apps and they are hardly wrong.

IAlso, in the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people wcould sleep ion the bus!

Aren't they afraid they cwould miss their stops?

It is tricky to determine whether the object of this sentence should be plural or singular since the possessive pronoun is plural. You just need to stop and think whether each rider has one stop individually or do they have multiple stops. Obviously in this case, the rider has one stop, so you would use the singular form of stop. However, it is possible for both the possessive pronoun and the object to be plural. For instance, "those fans have tickets to get in.". In this case, the sentence denotes that each of the fan has multiple tickets.

How do they know how long they could sleep?

Aren't they worried that people couldmight think that they look silly when they are taking a nap?

Thatis opinion lasted for about three weeks.

When you start a sentence with "that", it needs to be clear what "that" is. In this case, the last thing you discussed was people looking silly, but I don't think that is what you meant to say.

After that, I got used to riding buses, and I would take books to read and, if the. If traffic was really bad, I cwould just take a sketchbook and draw while I waited to arrive atfor my stop.

There's too many phrases in this sentence that they start to run on a bit. I changed it to be more concise.

AfLater when I entered college, I even began tocould even sleep on the bus myself.

Do not start another sentence with "after". Try to use a different adverb to keep the readers interested.

I know theybuses aren't the most comfortable places ever to be, and some people just don't seem to grasphave the basic bus etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel.

You don't have to worry about the traffic, you don't have to worry about all the other and the nutcases on the street... You just pay your fare, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

dethlue's avatar
dethlue

Oct. 9, 2020

1

Thank you for your correction! ^^

Bus Rides

When I was little, I went to school by bus.

When I was little, I wentused to go to school by bus.

It was a private school, and I lived a couple of miles away from my home.

It was a private school, and I livedit was a couple of miles away from my home.

It was a private school, and I lived a couple of miles away from my home.

Because my family had no car, and to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning was a dangerous business back in the time, every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation.

Because my family had no car, I hand to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning. This was a dangerous business back inat the time, e. Every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation.

Because my family had no car, and to walk all the way from my house to the school in the early morning was a dangerous business back in the time, every year my parents had to sign me up for school transportation.my parents used to sign me up for school transportation, as it was dangerous to walk to school early in the morning back in those days.

Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.

Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.

Many kids did the same and the rides to school and from school were always fun.

When I entered high school, though, this changed.

WHowever, when I entered high school, though, thisis all changed.

My parents still worried about how I would get to school, and they tried signing me up for school transportation again.

My parents were still worried about how I would get to school, and they tried to signing me up again for school transportation again., but the bus would always get stuck in traffic, thus causing me to be late at school, which I always hated.

The bus, however, would always get jammed in traffic, and I would arrive late at school, which I always hated.

The bus, however, would always get jammed in traffic, and I would arrive late at school, which I always hated.

It was then that I decided that I had to use common public transportation.

It was then that I decided that I had to use common public transportation.

I remember feeling very anxious the first time I had to ride the bus by myself.

I had to catch it really early to avoid the traffic, and no matter how sleepy I felt, I would spend the whole ride staring wide eyed out of the window, afraid that I would miss my stop.

I had to catch it really early to avoid the traffic, and no matter how sleepy I felt, I would spend the whole ride staring wide -eyed out of the window, afraid that I would miss my stop.

In the past, using public transportation was really inconvenient.

You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was going to arrive, but nowadays they made things much easier.

You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was even going to arrive, but nowadays they've made things much easier.

You never knew when it would arrive or even if it was even going to arrive at all, but nowadays, they madke things much easier.

The buses have GPS whose signals can be tracked by multiple apps and they are hardly wrong.

The buses have GPSes whose signals can be tracked by multiple apps and they are hardly ever wrong.

In the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people would sleep in the bus!

In the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people wcould sleep in the bus!

IAlso, in the beginning, I just couldn't understand how people wcould sleep ion the bus!

Aren't they afraid they could miss their stops?

Aren't they afraid they cwould miss their stops?

Aren't they afraid they cwould miss their stops?

How do they know how long they could sleep?

How do they know how long they cshould sleep?

Aren't they worried people could think that they look silly when they are taking a nap?

Aren't they worried people could think that they look silly when they awere taking a nap?

Aren't they worried that people couldmight think that they look silly when they are taking a nap?

That lasted for about three weeks.

Thatis opinion lasted for about three weeks.

After that, I got used to riding buses, and I would take books to read and, if the traffic was really bad, I could just take a sketchbook and draw while I waited to arrive at my stop.

After that, I got used to riding buses, and I would take books to read and, if the. If traffic was really bad, I cwould just take a sketchbook and draw while I waited to arrive atfor my stop.

After I entered college, I even began to sleep on the bus.

AfLater when I entered college, I even began tocould even sleep on the bus myself.

I know they aren't the most comfortable places ever, and some people just don't seem to grasp the basic etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel.

I know they aren't the most comfortable places ever, and some people just docan't seem to grasp the basic etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel.

I know theybuses aren't the most comfortable places ever to be, and some people just don't seem to grasphave the basic bus etiquette of bus rides, but I still think they are a very convenient way to travel.

You don't have to worry about the traffic, you don't have to worry about all the other nutcases on the street... You just pay your fare, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

You don't have to worry about the traffic, you don't have to worry about all the other and the nutcases on the street... You just pay your fare, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

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