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samu

Jan. 14, 2022

1
Book - A Shot in the Dark - P30

Part thirty.
This summary was deliberately written in present tenses (analyse it as if it’s taking place as you read it)


In the thrill of yesterday’s events, Brunswick completely forgot Masie at the hippodrome. To his credit, it was not his fault, he could not expect such an eventful evening: national critic A.S. Crystal shot dead in a theatre; young playwright Jack Braithwaithe found dead in his lodgings; has-been actor Alec Forrester found guilty, wrongly, of murder; Strong Woman Joanna Carver turned out to be a con artist, and found guilty, with little evidence, of Jack’s murder; Constable Twitten taken to hospital. Where could a nineteen year-old have fitted in all of this? He knows he will not hear the end of it, but she was, and still is, not more important than his job. Still, he is in a cheerful mood this morning; he believes that his and Inspector Steine’s breakthrough on the case will surely astonish clever clogs* Twitten, once fully acquainted; after all, they made two arrests on their own. He expects** to have a beautiful day ahead of him, but Vince, a friend of Masie, has quite another opinion, swinging up and down a baseball bat in his hands. When Brunswick steps out of the doorway onto the pavement, he is surprised to see Vince. Given his police experience, he duly decides to play it cool. It does not take him long to defuse Vince’s violent intent. As Brunswick, free of danger, set off, Vince wonders how and when he lost grip on the situation.


*”Clever clogs” is a synonym of “know-it-all” in British English.


** Or “see” / “has”

Corrections

In the thrillexcitement of yesterday’s events, Brunswick completely forgot about Masie and left her at the hippodrome.

To his credit, it was not his fault, he could not expect such an eventful evening: national critic A.S. Crystal being shot dead in a theatre; young playwright Jack Braithwaithe found dead in his lodgings; and has-been actor Alec Forrester was wrongly found guilty, wrongly, of murder;. Strong Woman Joanna Carver turned out to be a con artist, and was found guilty, with little evidence, of Jack’s murder;. Constable Twitten was taken to the hospital.

this is a bit too long

Where could a nineteen year-old have fitted in all of this?

He knows he will not hear the end of it, but s. She was, and still is, not moreless important to him than his job.

Still, he is in a cheerful mood this morning; h. He believes that his and Inspector Steine’s breakthrough on the case will surely astonish clever clogs* Twitten, once fully acquainted; aTwitten. After all, they made two arrests on theirhis own.

He expects** to have a beautiful day ahead of him, b. But Vince, a friend of Masie, has quite another opinion, swinging up and down a baseball batother plans for him judging by the baseball bat that he's swinging around in his hands.

When Brunswick steps out of the doorway onto the pavement, he is surprised to see Vince.

Given his police experience, he duly decides to play it cool.

It does not take him long to defuse Vince’s violent intent.

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I commend you on the effort to create an interesting narrative, but it can make it difficult to understand what you mean

samu's avatar
samu

Jan. 15, 2022

1

Thanks a lot four your help

samu's avatar
samu

Jan. 15, 2022

1

for*

Book - A Shot in the Dark - P30

Part thirty.

This summary was deliberately written in present tenses (analyse it as if it’s taking place as you read it)

In the thrill of yesterday’s events, Brunswick completely forgot Masie at the hippodrome.

In the thrillexcitement of yesterday’s events, Brunswick completely forgot about Masie and left her at the hippodrome.

To his credit, it was not his fault, he could not expect such an eventful evening: national critic A.S. Crystal shot dead in a theatre; young playwright Jack Braithwaithe found dead in his lodgings; has-been actor Alec Forrester found guilty, wrongly, of murder; Strong Woman Joanna Carver turned out to be a con artist, and found guilty, with little evidence, of Jack’s murder; Constable Twitten taken to hospital.

To his credit, it was not his fault, he could not expect such an eventful evening: national critic A.S. Crystal being shot dead in a theatre; young playwright Jack Braithwaithe found dead in his lodgings; and has-been actor Alec Forrester was wrongly found guilty, wrongly, of murder;. Strong Woman Joanna Carver turned out to be a con artist, and was found guilty, with little evidence, of Jack’s murder;. Constable Twitten was taken to the hospital.

Where could a nineteen year-old have fitted in all of this?

He knows he will not hear the end of it, but she was, and still is, not more important than his job.

He knows he will not hear the end of it, but s. She was, and still is, not moreless important to him than his job.

Still, he is in a cheerful mood this morning; he believes that his and Inspector Steine’s breakthrough on the case will surely astonish clever clogs* Twitten, once fully acquainted; after all, they made two arrests on their own.

Still, he is in a cheerful mood this morning; h. He believes that his and Inspector Steine’s breakthrough on the case will surely astonish clever clogs* Twitten, once fully acquainted; aTwitten. After all, they made two arrests on theirhis own.

He expects** to have a beautiful day ahead of him, but Vince, a friend of Masie, has quite another opinion, swinging up and down a baseball bat in his hands.

He expects** to have a beautiful day ahead of him, b. But Vince, a friend of Masie, has quite another opinion, swinging up and down a baseball batother plans for him judging by the baseball bat that he's swinging around in his hands.

When Brunswick steps out of the doorway onto the pavement, he is surprised to see Vince.

Given his police experience, he duly decides to play it cool.

It does not take him long to defuse Vince’s violent intent.

As Brunswick, free of danger, set off, Vince wonders how and when he lost grip on the situation.

*”Clever clogs” is a synonym of “know-it-all” in British English.

** Or “see” / “has”

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