shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0
🎃 A Story for Halloween 🎃

I live in a corner apartment on the top floor. There is a balcony attached to the room. Two year have passed since I moved here. I like this room, but yesterday, an annoying person seemed to be moved to my next-door room.
The neighbor's alarm went off at 2 a.m. and continued sounding until 4 a.m. and what is worse, the person often hit the wall. I couldn't sleep last night. I was very sleepy today, so I went to bed earlier than usual. Again, the alarm went off at 2 a.m. I got so angry that I went out and knocked the door of the neighbor. No one came out. No replied. I came back in my room and hit the wall with anger. Then, the neighbor hit back the wall much harder. I got furious so I kicked the wall, yet the neighbor didn't stop it. I gave up and listened to the music with my headphones on.
Morning has come. I called the real estate management company on the phone and complained about the neighbor. Then, he said wonderingly,
"It's strange because no one lives in that room. We don't have any contract with anyone for that room. Maybe you've mistaken it for what the resident on the floor below you did?"
I shouted,
"Impossible! I hit the wall and the neighbor hit it back. Absolutely someone is in the next room!"
Then, the staff said,
"I got it. I'll check through security cameras if someone tresspassed into the room. I'll let you know after our investigation"

I was looking forward to a call from him. I got a call this evening.
"We've checked out and found no one broke into the room. Also, we entered the room actually today, but we couldn't find anything like an alarm watch or a mobile phone"

I thought they cut corners at their investigation.
"Alright! I'll get any evidence by myself!!"

I bound a mirror on the stick for selfie. When the alarm started, I went out to the balcony and saw the room light on. As I expected, someone should be there! I stretched my arm with the stick and looked into the room through the mirror and found no one was there.
I also found the window unlocked. Probably, the management company's staff forgot locking it and turning off the light. I put my phone into a pocket on my jeans to take photos of evidence. I bound the one end of the rope on the fence of my balcony and bound the other on myself. I jumped into the balcony of the next room. I made it and took off the rope. I entered the room and hunted all over the room for the alarm, but I couldn't find it. When I looked back to the window where I entered, I was aware of the outside different from the one I always see.
I went out to the balcony and saw the darkness, all over the outside.
There should be some buildings in front of our apartment, but nothing is there. I can't see anything but darkness. I turned to my room but it disappeared and left the darkness. I turned to the other side. It's the same. Nothing but darkness. Even though looking up and down, I just learn it's darkness. I went to the entrance door and opened. The corridors disappeared and became dark. Looks like I'm in a room floating in an endless outer space.
The rope from my balcony disappeared. I can't go back to my room, to the real world. I took out my phone and tried to call but couldn't. I have no signal. I was at a loss what to do and seated myself on the floor.
Suddenly, the alarm of my phone sounded. It's six o'clock. I usually get up around this time. Tears come out in despair. Why I came here for a trivial thing? I should've ignored it and moved to another room. The alarm was sounding continuously.
Then, I heard someone hit the wall.
"I'm here! Rescue me!"
I hit the wall harder, and then, the person hit back much harder.
"Yes, I'm here! Rescue me!!"
I continued hitting the wall, but the person stopped hitting.
"I'm here! I'm here!! Please rescue me!! Please!!"
I'm still hitting the wall.

Corrections

I live in a corner apartment on the top floor.

There iIt has a balcony attached to the bedroom.

Apartments usually have more than one room, and since you haven't mentioned if it's just a one room apartment, you'll need to mention a particular room. Also... narration-wise, you can add a bit more detail about the balcony, like "a balcony with a great view", or "a 3-ft wide balcony", since just mentioning the balcony for the sake of it seems awkward.

Two years have passed since I moved here.

I like this roomplace, but yesterday, an annoying person seemeds to bhave moved to my next-door room.

The neighbor's alarm went off at 2 a.m. and continued sounding until 4 a.m. aAnd what i's worse, is the person often hity often kept hitting the wall.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I was very sleepy today, so I went to bed earlier than usual.

Again, the alarm went off at 2 a.m. I got so angry that I went out and knocked the door of the neighbon my neighbor's door.

No one came out.

No one replied.

You could also say, "Nobody replied" or "No reply".

I camewent back in my room and hit the wall with anin rager.

Then, the neighbor hit back the wall muchback even harder.

I got furious, so I kicked the wall, yet the neighbor didn't stop hitting back.

It's a bit unclear what "it" here is, is it about just hitting once often? Or is it about hitting back every time the protagonist hit the wall?

I gave up and listened to the music with my headphones on.

Morning has comes.

I called the real estate management company on the phone and complained about the neighbor.

"On the phone" is unnecessary here.

Then, he said wonderinglyin confusion,

If you meant to say 不思議そうに, then this is right. Wonderingly, I think, is used to mean 魅了されて.

"IThat's strange because n. No one lives in that roomapartment.

We don't have any contract with anyones for that roomone.

Maybe you've mistakenook it for what the resident on the floor below you did?

"Impossible! I shouted,

This sounds more natural.

I hit the wall and the neighbor hit it back.

Absolutely someone isSomeone is definitely in the next room!

Then, the staff then said,

Just making it sound a bit more natural.

"Okay, I goet it.

I'll check through security cameras to see if someone tresspassed into the roomplace.

I'll let you know after our investigation"

I was lookinged forward to ahis call from him.,

I got aAnd he called this evening., saying,

"We've checked outthe footage and found no one broke into the room.

Using just "checked out" would by like using the idiomatic phrase, which means leaving a hotel after staying.

Also, we actually entered the room actuallyapartment today, but we couldn't find anything like an alarm watchclock or a mobile phone"

I thought they cut corners at their investigation.

Not sure what you meant here, but TLing cutting corners in investigation directly would be, "行き届いていない調査をした” or ”雑な調査”. It would mean that they did at least 80% of the work, but didn't do the rest of it properly. But from the sounds of it, it looks like they didn't perform the investigation at all, since they searched an empty apartment and didn't find anything.

"Alright!

I'll get any evidence by myself!!

I bound a mirror on the stick fora selfie-stick.

When the alarm started, I went out to the balcony and sawfound the room lights on.

As I expected, someone should beit meant someone was there!

I stretched my arm with the stick and looked into the room through the mirror and, but found no one was there.

I also found tThe window was unlocked.

Probably, the management company's staff forgot to locking it and turning offleft the lights on, too.

I put my phone into a the pocket onf my jeans to take photos of evidence.

I bound thetied one end of thea rope on the fence of my balcony and bound the other end on myself.

I jumped ionto the balcony of the next room.

I made it and took off the rope.

I entered the roomapartment and hunted all over the room for the alarm, but I couldn't find it.

When I looked back to the window where I entered, I wasbecame aware of how the outside was different from the onewhat I always seeaw.

I went out to the balcony and saw the darkness, all overenveloping the outside.

There should've been some buildings in front of ourthe apartment, but there was nothing is there now.

I caouldn't see anything but darkness.

You can switch tenses in Japanese during narration, but we keep it all in the same tense in English.

I turned towards my room but it had disappeared and left the darknesstoo.

I turned to the otherpposite side.

It' was the same.

Nothing but darkness.

Even thoughwhen I lookinged up and down, I just learned it's was just darkness.

I wentheaded to the entrance door and opened the door.

The corridors had disappeared and became darturned black.

Just writing "dark" here would make it seem that the corridors had dimmed in brightness. Black would be a better word here.

LIt looksed like I'm was in a room floating in an endless outer spacevoid.

The rope from my balcony had disappeared.

I caouldn't go back to my room, to the real world.

I took out my phone and tried to calling someone, but couldn't.

I haveThere was no signal.

I was at a loss for what to do and so, seated myself on the floor.

Suddenly, the alarm of my phone soundedrang.

It's sSix o'clock.

I usually geot up around this time.

Tears coame out in despair.

Why had I caome here for such a trivial thing?

I should've ignored it and moved to another room.

Is "room" here just 部屋 or アパート?

The alarm waskept sounding continuously.

Then, I heard someone hit the wall.

"I'm here!

RescueHelp me!

Rescue me, sounds like you are ordering someone.

I hit the wall harder, and then,... the person hit back much harder.

RescueHelp me!!

I continued hitting the wall, but the persony stopped hitting back.

"I'm here!

I'm here!!

Please rescue me!!

This is okay since you are using please.

Please!!

I'm still hitting the wall.

Feedback

Sorry I skipped on a lot of the explanations. Just ask on whatever you find unclear. And how do you write "apartment room" in Japanese? I'm unsure about my corrections on that one.

shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0

There iIt has a balcony attached to the bedroom.

Apartments usually have more than one room, and since you haven't mentioned if it's just a one room apartment, you'll need to mention a particular room. Also... narration-wise, you can add a bit more detail about the balcony, like "a balcony with a great view", or "a 3-ft wide balcony", since just mentioning the balcony for the sake of it seems awkward.

Is this clear?

I live in a corner room in an one room studio apartment. It has a balcony. I like drinking coffee on the balcony seeing some buildings in front of the apartment.

ワンルームマンションの角部屋に住んでいます。バルコニーが付いています。バルコニーでマンション前のいくつかのビルを見ながらコーヒーを飲むのが好きです。

shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0

I thought they cut corners at their investigation.

Not sure what you meant here, but TLing cutting corners in investigation directly would be, "行き届いていない調査をした” or ”雑な調査”. It would mean that they did at least 80% of the work, but didn't do the rest of it properly. But from the sounds of it, it looks like they didn't perform the investigation at all, since they searched an empty apartment and didn't find anything.

I see. I'll change it.
Does the below sound natural?

I thought they were missing something in their investigation, so I decided I would find it myself.

shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Thank you very much for correcting my long post!!

Sorry for many questions(T T).
If I say 私は5階建てワンルームマンションの角部屋に住んでいる, can I say this?
I live in a corner apartment in a five-story one room studio apartment.

Ochita's avatar
Ochita

Oct. 31, 2020

0

I see. I'll change it. Does the below sound natural? I thought they were missing something in their investigation, so I decided I would find it myself.

Perfect! 👍

Ochita's avatar
Ochita

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Thank you very much for correcting my long post!! Sorry for many questions(T T). If I say 私は5階建てワンルームマンションの角部屋に住んでいる, can I say this? I live in a corner apartment in a five-story one room studio apartment.

I'm not sure what term is used for an apartment with all one-room studios, sorry _(_^_)_ If you get to know the term, then the sentence would be, "I live in a one-room studio in the corner of a five-story *term* apartment." Then all your sentences could have "room" too, since it would imply that the adjacent apartments are one-room too.

shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Thank you very much for the explanation!
We say "apartment room" just 部屋.
部屋を探しています。

I was checking about terms of apartment on the internet, but couldn't find a proper term.

Does the below sound natural?
I live in a one-room studio in the corner on the top floor in a five-story apartment building.

私は5階建てワンルームマンションビルの最上階にある角部屋に住んでいる。

Ochita's avatar
Ochita

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Ah, the room bit makes sense now.

It sounds a bit convoluted tbh. Better to split it up:
I live in a one-room studio on the top floor. It's on the corner of a five-story building.

shiera's avatar
shiera

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Thank you very much!
I'll post this story on an English site(^^)

Ochita's avatar
Ochita

Oct. 31, 2020

0

Ah, in that case, maybe you should wait for more corrections. More proficient users might be able to make better corrections.

🎃 A Story for Halloween 🎃

I live in a corner apartment on the top floor.

There is a balcony attached to the room.

There iIt has a balcony attached to the bedroom.

Two year have passed since I moved here.

Two years have passed since I moved here.

I like this room, but yesterday, an annoying person seemed to be moved to my next-door room.

I like this roomplace, but yesterday, an annoying person seemeds to bhave moved to my next-door room.

The neighbor's alarm went off at 2 a.m. and continued sounding until 4 a.m. and what is worse, the person often hit the wall.

The neighbor's alarm went off at 2 a.m. and continued sounding until 4 a.m. aAnd what i's worse, is the person often hity often kept hitting the wall.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I was very sleepy today, so I went to bed earlier than usual.

Again, the alarm went off at 2 a.m. I got so angry that I went out and knocked the door of the neighbor.

Again, the alarm went off at 2 a.m. I got so angry that I went out and knocked the door of the neighbon my neighbor's door.

No one came out.

No replied.

No one replied.

I came back in my room and hit the wall with anger.

I camewent back in my room and hit the wall with anin rager.

Then, the neighbor hit back the wall much harder.

Then, the neighbor hit back the wall muchback even harder.

I got furious so I kicked the wall, yet the neighbor didn't stop it.

I got furious, so I kicked the wall, yet the neighbor didn't stop hitting back.

I gave up and listened to the music with my headphones on.

I gave up and listened to the music with my headphones on.

Morning has come.

Morning has comes.

I called the real estate management company on the phone and complained about the neighbor.

I called the real estate management company on the phone and complained about the neighbor.

Then, he said wonderingly,

Then, he said wonderinglyin confusion,

"It's strange because no one lives in that room.

"IThat's strange because n. No one lives in that roomapartment.

We don't have any contract with anyone for that room.

We don't have any contract with anyones for that roomone.

Maybe you've mistaken it for what the resident on the floor below you did?

Maybe you've mistakenook it for what the resident on the floor below you did?

"

I shouted,

"Impossible!

"Impossible! I shouted,

I hit the wall and the neighbor hit it back.

Absolutely someone is in the next room!

Absolutely someone isSomeone is definitely in the next room!

"

Then, the staff said,

Then, the staff then said,

"I got it.

"Okay, I goet it.

I'll check through security cameras if someone tresspassed into the room.

I'll check through security cameras to see if someone tresspassed into the roomplace.

I'll let you know after our investigation"

I was looking forward to a call from him.

I was lookinged forward to ahis call from him.,

I got a call this evening.

I got aAnd he called this evening., saying,

"We've checked out and found no one broke into the room.

"We've checked outthe footage and found no one broke into the room.

Also, we entered the room actually today, but we couldn't find anything like an alarm watch or a mobile phone"

Also, we actually entered the room actuallyapartment today, but we couldn't find anything like an alarm watchclock or a mobile phone"

I thought they cut corners at their investigation.

I thought they cut corners at their investigation.

"Alright!

I'll get any evidence by myself!!

I'll get any evidence by myself!!

"

I bound a mirror on the stick for selfie.

I bound a mirror on the stick fora selfie-stick.

When the alarm started, I went out to the balcony and saw the room light on.

When the alarm started, I went out to the balcony and sawfound the room lights on.

As I expected, someone should be there!

As I expected, someone should beit meant someone was there!

I stretched my arm with the stick and looked into the room through the mirror and found no one was there.

I stretched my arm with the stick and looked into the room through the mirror and, but found no one was there.

I also found the window unlocked.

I also found tThe window was unlocked.

Probably, the management company's staff forgot locking it and turning off the light.

Probably, the management company's staff forgot to locking it and turning offleft the lights on, too.

I put my phone into a pocket on my jeans to take photos of evidence.

I put my phone into a the pocket onf my jeans to take photos of evidence.

I bound the one end of the rope on the fence of my balcony and bound the other on myself.

I bound thetied one end of thea rope on the fence of my balcony and bound the other end on myself.

I jumped into the balcony of the next room.

I jumped ionto the balcony of the next room.

I made it and took off the rope.

I entered the room and hunted all over the room for the alarm, but I couldn't find it.

I entered the roomapartment and hunted all over the room for the alarm, but I couldn't find it.

When I looked back to the window where I entered, I was aware of the outside different from the one I always see.

When I looked back to the window where I entered, I wasbecame aware of how the outside was different from the onewhat I always seeaw.

I went out to the balcony and saw the darkness, all over the outside.

I went out to the balcony and saw the darkness, all overenveloping the outside.

There should be some buildings in front of our apartment, but nothing is there.

There should've been some buildings in front of ourthe apartment, but there was nothing is there now.

I can't see anything but darkness.

I caouldn't see anything but darkness.

I turned to my room but it disappeared and left the darkness.

I turned towards my room but it had disappeared and left the darknesstoo.

I turned to the other side.

I turned to the otherpposite side.

It's the same.

It' was the same.

Nothing but darkness.

Even though looking up and down, I just learn it's darkness.

Even thoughwhen I lookinged up and down, I just learned it's was just darkness.

I went to the entrance door and opened.

I wentheaded to the entrance door and opened the door.

The corridors disappeared and became dark.

The corridors had disappeared and became darturned black.

Looks like I'm in a room floating in an endless outer space.

LIt looksed like I'm was in a room floating in an endless outer spacevoid.

The rope from my balcony disappeared.

The rope from my balcony had disappeared.

I can't go back to my room, to the real world.

I caouldn't go back to my room, to the real world.

I took out my phone and tried to call but couldn't.

I took out my phone and tried to calling someone, but couldn't.

I have no signal.

I haveThere was no signal.

I was at a loss what to do and seated myself on the floor.

I was at a loss for what to do and so, seated myself on the floor.

Suddenly, the alarm of my phone sounded.

Suddenly, the alarm of my phone soundedrang.

It's six o'clock.

It's sSix o'clock.

I usually get up around this time.

I usually geot up around this time.

Tears come out in despair.

Tears coame out in despair.

Why I came here for a trivial thing?

Why had I caome here for such a trivial thing?

I should've ignored it and moved to another room.

I should've ignored it and moved to another room.

The alarm was sounding continuously.

The alarm waskept sounding continuously.

Then, I heard someone hit the wall.

"I'm here!

Rescue me!

RescueHelp me!

"

I hit the wall harder, and then, the person hit back much harder.

I hit the wall harder, and then,... the person hit back much harder.

"Yes, I'm here!

Rescue me!!

RescueHelp me!!

"

I continued hitting the wall, but the person stopped hitting.

I continued hitting the wall, but the persony stopped hitting back.

"I'm here!

I'm here!!

Please rescue me!!

Please rescue me!!

Please!!

"

I'm still hitting the wall.

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