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michael_sun

Sept. 21, 2021

26
047 Biological Father

047 Biological Father
Rain's biological father abandoned him on a fire station doorstep when he was still a baby wrapped in a ratty blanket and a crap-filled diaper. His father was black and addicted to drugs but now he is clean. His biological mother was an addict, too. She died after she delivered the baby. Ring hired a detect to find the information about his biological father. When he first got the news from the detect, he hesitated. However, he finally made up his mind to call at the house. He knocked on the door heavily and finally an old man opened the door. Rain told the man that he was his biological son. Please don't be worry because he wasn't there for anything. He just wanted to tell him that the kid he left turned out to be great. He now had a happy family and had just bought a fancy-ass car, which cost $13,000 and he bought it by cash. He wasn't there for any made-up excuses. He was there to look in the eye and say that to him.

Corrections

047 Biological Father

Rain's biological father abandoned him on a fire station doorstep when he was still a baby, wrapped in a ratty blanket and a crap-filled diaper.

I don't think the comma is grammatically necessary here, but it makes the sentence flow a little nicer.

His father wais black and was addicted to drugs but now he is clean.

Because being black is a permanent characteristic, saying his father "was" black means he's in the past and no longer relevant. He died, or they've completely lost contact.

His biological mother was an addict, too.

She died after she delivered the baby.

Ring hired a detective to find the information about his biological father.

When he first got the news from the detective, he hesitated.

However, he finally made up his mind to call at the house.

He knocked on the door heavily and finally an old man opened the door.

Rain told the man that he was his biological son.

Please don't be worryied because he wasn't there for anything.

Or "please don't worry".

He just wanted to tell him that the kid he left turned out to be great.

He now had a happy family and had just bought a fancy-ass car, which cost $13,000 and he bought it bywith cash.

fancy-ass is a very very very casual term. You said "crap" earlier so I think that's the tone you're going for, and you've used it correctly, but in this story as written it strikes me as a little out of place.

He wasn't there for any made-up excuses.

He was there to look him in the eye and say that to him.

He knocked on the door heavily and finally an old man opened the door.

047 Biological Father

047 Biological Father

Rain's biological father abandoned him on a fire station doorstep when he was still a baby wrapped in a ratty blanket and a crap-filled diaper.

Rain's biological father abandoned him on a fire station doorstep when he was still a baby, wrapped in a ratty blanket and a crap-filled diaper.

His father was black and addicted to drugs but now he is clean.

His father wais black and was addicted to drugs but now he is clean.

His biological mother was an addict, too.

She died after she delivered the baby.

Ring hired a detect to find the information about his biological father.

Ring hired a detective to find the information about his biological father.

When he first got the news from the detect, he hesitated.

When he first got the news from the detective, he hesitated.

However, he finally made up his mind to call at the house.

Rain told the man that he was his biological son.

Please don't be worry because he wasn't there for anything.

Please don't be worryied because he wasn't there for anything.

He just wanted to tell him that the kid he left turned out to be great.

He now had a happy family and had just bought a fancy-ass car, which cost $13,000 and he bought it by cash.

He now had a happy family and had just bought a fancy-ass car, which cost $13,000 and he bought it bywith cash.

He wasn't there for any made-up excuses.

He was there to look in the eye and say that to him.

He was there to look him in the eye and say that to him.

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