Sept. 20, 2021
September 20th, 2021
I went to Kamigamo Shrine in Kyoto this afternoon. It is one of the oldest shrines in Kyoto. It is about 27 kilometers from my house. It took about an hour to get there by motorcycle. I took some photos.
Here are the photos: http://namiki.opal.ne.jp/bike/2021/20210920/w800/index-e.html
今日の午後は京都の上賀茂神社に行きました。上賀茂神社は京都で最も古い神社の一つです。うちから27Kmくらいです。バイクで1時間くらいかかりました。何枚か写真を撮りました。
こちらが写真です。http://namiki.opal.ne.jp/bike/2021/20210920/w800/index-e.html
September 20th, 2021
I went to Kamigamo Shrine in Kyoto this afternoon.
It is one of the oldest shrines in Kyoto.
It is about 27 kilometers from my house.
It took about an hour to get there by motorcycle.
I took some photos.
Here are the photos: http://namiki.opal.ne.jp/bike/2021/20210920/w800/index-e.html
Feedback
Everything is technically correct, but sounds choppy. You could combine some sentences to make it sound more natural, like "It is about 27 kilometers from my house and it took about an hour to get there by motorcycle."
Sept. 20, 2021
Thank you!
Sept. 20, 2021
Thank you!
September 20th, 2021
I went to Kamigamo Shrine in Kyoto this afternoon.
It is one of the oldest shrines in Kyoto.
It is about 27 kilometers from my house.
It took about an hour to get there by motorcycle.
I took some photos.
Here are the photos: http://namiki.opal.ne.jp/bike/2021/20210920/w800/index-e.html
Feedback
This is technically correctly, congratulations! I agree with banachtarski's feedback. Each sentence is correct, however the shortness of the sentences makes the paragraph as a whole feel cold and lifeless. 文は一つ一つは正しいですが、文は短いから文章は硬いと感じます。If you use connections words like "and" your sentences may have more of a flow to them. 「and」のような繋がり言葉を使ったらいい感じになれると思います！頑張ってください！
Sept. 20, 2021
Thank you!
|
September 20th, 2021 |
|
I went to Kamigamo Shrine in Kyoto this afternoon. |
|
It is one of the oldest shrines in Kyoto. |
|
It is about 27 kilometers from my house. |
|
It took about an hour to get there by motorcycle. |
|
I took some photos. |
|
Here are the photos: http://namiki.opal.ne.jp/bike/2021/20210920/w800/index-e.html |
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