kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Nov. 4, 2021

0
Punishment

Tonight, it is my turn to have classes for class 4. During the reading class, so soon as I turn off the radio, everynone stops. I ask them to keep reading, no one cares. I don't know whether they would read English in other reading classess, but I am quite confused that how they can improve their English without reading. Furthermore, their pronuciation is fairly bad, and they can't read many words correctly. Fine, since they don't want to study hard, I won't push them.

After the reading class, I hear my class is so noisy that I can't stand it any more. Thus I go to the classroom and tell them to run 5 laps tomorrow. When I go back to class 4, I hear the monitor roar, "Stop talking. Would you like to run more?" They become quiet soon. In the next class, I hear she roar again. Generally speaking, it is much quieter than before. It seems that after the the whole class have been punished for running 7 laps in total, somebody becomes afraid and start to do something to change the situation. In a word, the punishment works.
Anyway, I don't really care they hate me or not.

Corrections

Punishment

Tonight, it is my turn to have classes forteach class 4.

DI have them during the reading class, so as soon as I turn off the radio, everynone stopslooks up.

"Stops" is fine, just figured I'd give you something better

I ask them to keep reading, but no one carelistens.

I don't know whether they would read English in other reading classess, but I am quite confused thatpuzzled as to how they can improve their English without reading.

Furthermore, their pronuciation is fairly bad, and they can't read many words incorrectly.

Can't read many = 只能读一些词
read many incorrectly = 读错很多词

Fine,; since they don't want to study hard, I won't push them.

After the reading class, I hear my class is, they are so noisy that I can't stand it any more.

Thus I goI went to the classroom and tellold them to run 5 laps tomorrow.

When I goet back to class 4, I hear the monitor roar, "Stop talking.

Would you like to run more?"

They quickly becoame quiet soon.

In the next class, I heard sher roar again.

Generally speaking, it iwas much quieter than before.

It seems that after the the whole class have beenis punished for runningby being made to run 7 laps in total, somebodyone becomes afraidupset and starts to do something to change the situation.

In a wshordt, the punishment works.

用in a word的话只能用一个词,哈哈。

Anyway, I don't really care whether they hate me or not, besides.

Feedback

Nice writing! I'll say that narratives don't use the same tense in Chinese as in English--in Chinese you can use the present tense so you don't have sentences composed half of 了, but in English it's important to maintain the past tense throughout.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Nov. 5, 2021

0

Thank you. Sometimes I am really confuesd that whether I have to use past tense when I talked sth. had happened.

sivanc's avatar
sivanc

Nov. 5, 2021

0

Thank you. Sometimes I am really confuesd that whether I have to use past tense when I talked sth. had happened.

It's hard! There are often little "pockets" of present tense when part of a phrase with a past tense verb (like "to be" in "he told her not to be sad"), so it can be quite confusing.

Punishment

Tonight, it is my turn to have classes for class 4.

Tonight, it is my turn to have classes forteach class 4.

During the reading class, so soon as I turn off the radio, everynone stops.

DI have them during the reading class, so as soon as I turn off the radio, everynone stopslooks up.

I ask them to keep reading, no one cares.

I ask them to keep reading, but no one carelistens.

I don't know whether they would read English in other reading classess, but I am quite confused that how they can improve their English without reading.

I don't know whether they would read English in other reading classess, but I am quite confused thatpuzzled as to how they can improve their English without reading.

Furthermore, their pronuciation is fairly bad, and they can't read many words correctly.

Furthermore, their pronuciation is fairly bad, and they can't read many words incorrectly.

Fine, since they don't want to study hard, I won't push them.

Fine,; since they don't want to study hard, I won't push them.

After the reading class, I hear my class is so noisy that I can't stand it any more.

After the reading class, I hear my class is, they are so noisy that I can't stand it any more.

Thus I go to the classroom and tell them to run 5 laps tomorrow.

Thus I goI went to the classroom and tellold them to run 5 laps tomorrow.

When I go back to class 4, I hear the monitor roar, "Stop talking.

When I goet back to class 4, I hear the monitor roar, "Stop talking.

Would you like to run more?"

They become quiet soon.

They quickly becoame quiet soon.

In the next class, I hear she roar again.

In the next class, I heard sher roar again.

Generally speaking, it is much quieter than before.

Generally speaking, it iwas much quieter than before.

It seems that after the the whole class have been punished for running 7 laps in total, somebody becomes afraid and start to do something to change the situation.

It seems that after the the whole class have beenis punished for runningby being made to run 7 laps in total, somebodyone becomes afraidupset and starts to do something to change the situation.

In a word, the punishment works.

In a wshordt, the punishment works.

Anyway, I don't really care they hate me or not.

Anyway, I don't really care whether they hate me or not, besides.

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