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Diary: Childfree (pt.1)

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heyyawn 29 · 02/23/2021

Target Language - English

Last week I corrected a journal written in Chinese with the same name as this one, "Childfree." Writing about the situation in Russia. Today I saw some data from China about last year, and I wanted to write it.

In 2020, a total of 10.035 million newborns were born and have been registered with the public security authorities , compared to 14.65 million in the previous year. The number of newborns from 2016 to 2018 is 17.86 million, 17.23 million and 15.23 million. The number of newborns has fallen sharply over the years.

At the same time the number of people getting married is decreasing. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, the number of first marriages in mainland China decreased from 23.86 million in 2013 to 15.99 million in 2018 and 13.8 million in 2019, and the number of marriages between the ages of 20 and 24 plummeted from 9.53 million in 2011 to 4.36 million in 2018 and 3.65 million in 2019.

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Correction 1 / 1
sara_77 1 02/25/2021
Diary: Childfree (pt.1)
Last week I corrected a journal written in Chinese with the same name as this one, "Childfree."

Last week I corrected a journal written in Chinese with the same name as this one, "Childfree.,"

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic
Writing about the situation in Russia.

Wthat was writing about the situation in Russia.

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic
I think it's better to use 'that' to make it clear that the two ideas are connected.
Today I saw some data from China about last year, and I wanted to write it.

Today I saw some data from China about last year, and I wanted to write about it.

  • Correction Type:
  • Grammar
  • Stylistic
In this context, saying "I wanted to write it" would meant that you're writing the data itself.
In 2020, a total of 10.035 million newborns were born and have been registered with the public security authorities , compared to 14.65 million in the previous year.

In 2020, a total of 10.035 million newborns were born and have been registered with the public security authorities , compared to 14.65 million in the previous year.

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic
The number of newborns from 2016 to 2018 is 17.86 million, 17.23 million and 15.23 million.
The number of newborns has fallen sharply over the years.
At the same time the number of people getting married is decreasing.

At the same time, the number of people getting married is decreasing.

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic
According to the National Bureau of Statistics, the number of first marriages in mainland China decreased from 23.86 million in 2013 to 15.99 million in 2018 and 13.8 million in 2019, and the number of marriages between the ages of 20 and 24 plummeted from 9.53 million in 2011 to 4.36 million in 2018 and 3.65 million in 2019.

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Overall feedback & comment:

Great work!
Comment added on 02/25/2021