Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 25, 2020

1
If I can

If I am allowed to do some business, I prefer choosing the following two types of it.
The first one would be education training. I think it is a valuable cause to do, because it can change a person, change a nation, and make the world beautiful. The second one is starting up a lawyer's office to help people who are in need. No matter which one I can do, the main goal is to help people step out of difficulty and become better. As for money, it doesn't matter, as long as it can afford our lives. The rule in choosing team workers is that they must have the same values. If you want to be rich, let's say goodbye. There are things we can do, and can make ends meet in our lives, and it is very meaningful. That is what I am dreaming about. However, dreams are always dreams. Maybe I can only dream. It will never come true.

Corrections

If I can ould start a business

I would recommend against using a sentence fragment as a title (it feels incomplete)

If I am allowed to do somecould start my own business, I would prefer to choosinge one of the following two types of it.

The first one would be education training.

I think it is a valuable cause to do, because it can change a person, change a nation, and make the world beautiful.

The second one iswould be starting up a lawyer's office to help people who are in need.

Making the tense parallel to the second sentence

No matter which one I can do, the main goal is to help people step out of difficultyhardship and become better.

What you wrote was fine, but I think hardship would be a better word here.

As for money, it doesn't matter, as long as itwe can afford our livfestyles.

or “as long as it can cover our lifestyle”

The rule in choosing team workers is that they must have the same values.

If you want to be rich, let's say goodbye.

There are things we can do, and can make ends meet in our lives, and it is very meaningful.

Another way you could say this: “There are things we can do while still making ends meet in our lives, and it is very meaningful.”

That is what I am dreaming about.

However, dreams are always dreams.

Maybe I can only dream.

It will never come true.

Feedback

Good job! You sound like a very kind person.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 25, 2020

1

谢谢你的修改与注释。

If I can

If I can ould start a business

If I am allowed to do some business, I prefer choosing the following two types of it.

If I am allowed to do somecould start my own business, I would prefer to choosinge one of the following two types of it.

The first one would be education training.

I think it is a valuable cause to do, because it can change a person, change a nation, and make the world beautiful.

I think it is a valuable cause to do, because it can change a person, change a nation, and make the world beautiful.

The second one is starting up a lawyer's office to help people who are in need.

The second one iswould be starting up a lawyer's office to help people who are in need.

No matter which one I can do, the main goal is to help people step out of difficulty and become better.

No matter which one I can do, the main goal is to help people step out of difficultyhardship and become better.

As for money, it doesn't matter, as long as it can afford our lives.

As for money, it doesn't matter, as long as itwe can afford our livfestyles.

The rule in choosing team workers is that they must have the same values.

If you want to be rich, let's say goodbye.

There are things we can do, and can make ends meet in our lives, and it is very meaningful.

There are things we can do, and can make ends meet in our lives, and it is very meaningful.

That is what I am dreaming about.

However, dreams are always dreams.

Maybe I can only dream.

It will never come true.

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