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Etsuko Takano

ponta 306 · May 3

Target Language - English

Etsuko Takano was a college student and killed herself in 1969 when she was 20 years old. I read a book that compiles her diaries last six months till she died. She was struggling with the student movement in Japan and her loneliness. She wanted to be a poet, so there are many poems in the book. They are highly evaluated. She lived 50 years ago, but her piece of writing still makes an impression on many people.


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Correction 1 / 2
qovwzcx263 0 May 3, 2021
Etsuko Takano
Etsuko Takano was a college student and killed herself in 1969 when she was 20 years old.

Etsuko Takano was a college student andwho killed herself in 1969 when she was 20 years old.

I read a book that compiles her diaries last six months till she died.

I read a book that compiles ther diaries last six months till she died' of diary entries she wrote at the end of her life.

She was struggling with the student movement in Japan and her loneliness.

She was struggling with the student movement in Japan and her loneliness.

"She was struggling with the student movement" doesn't make sense. What specifically was she struggling with? E.g., did she have doubts about it? Was the level of activity too stressful for her? Was it factional struggles? Was she targeted by the student movement?
I'm going to guess that she was a participant in the movement and the intensity caused her to feel overwhelmed/exhausted (not sure if this is actually true), so I would rephrase this sentence as follows: "She had been battling depression and loneliness. She was also deeply involved in the student movement in Japan, and she was overwhelmed/exhausted by its intensity."
She wanted to be a poet, so there are many poems in the book.
They are highly evaluated.

They are highly evaluated.

"Highly evaluated" by who? Critics? The public?
I would say, "They were critically acclaimed" or "they were praised by/popular with the public."
She lived 50 years ago, but her piece of writing still makes an impression on many people.

She lived 50 years ago, but her piece of writings still makes anleave a deep impression on many people.

"Makes an impression" is fine/correct, but it sounds a little weak.
Correction 2 / 2
destaq 2 May 3, 2021
Etsuko Takano
Etsuko Takano was a college student and killed herself in 1969 when she was 20 years old.

Etsuko Takano was a college student andwho killed herself in 1969 when she was 20 years old.

I read a book that compiles her diaries last six months till she died.

I read a book that is a compilesation of her diaries from the last six months till she diedof her life.

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic
Reworded to clarify.
She was struggling with the student movement in Japan and her loneliness.
She wanted to be a poet, so there are many poems in the book.
They are highly evaluated.

They are highly evaluated.

Grammatically correct but just seems strange to me. Instead, I'd write something like:

They were well-received.
or
The level of the poems is quite high.
She lived 50 years ago, but her piece of writing still makes an impression on many people.

She lived 50 years ago, but her piece of writing still makes an impression on many people.

  • Correction Type:
  • Stylistic