kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Jan. 19, 2022

0
Envy

It is sunny today. I've never seen sunshine for more than a week, so I decide to go riding a bike. In the afternoon, I go riding to a town with a teenager Zhu. We chats when we riding. I tell her that one of her classmate live nearby, because I bumped into her twice. In the first time, I couldn't recognize her because I didn't know her. In the second time, I also couldn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead. Zhu say, "oh, her forehead, which I envy so much." I am so surprised. Then she continue, "because my forehead is too big (or large)." I tell her that her forehead is quite pretty. She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse." I also think her hair is normal as well.
Well, maybe we always envy something we think we don't have, especially as a adolescent, when we are too sensitive about others' judgement. So I tell her that it would be ok whether your hair is thin or thick, because nobody is perfect. Furthermore, your hair quantity doesn't break the law or disturb anyone, so, take easy.

Corrections

Envy

It is sunny today.

I've never haven't seen sunshine forin more than a week, so I decide to go riding aride my bike.

In the afternoon, I go ridingride to a town with a teenager named Zhu.

We chats whilen we ridinge.

I tell her that one of her classmates lives nearby, because I bumped into her twice.

In tThe first time, I couldidn't recognize her because I didn't know her.

In tThe second time, I also couldidn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead.

Zhu says, "oOh, her forehead, which I envy so much."

I am so surprised.

Then she continues, "because mMy forehead is too big (or large)."

I tell her that her forehead is quite pretty.

She explains again, "mMy forehead is ok, but my top hair is a bit sparse on the top."

I also think her hair is normal as well.

Well, maybe we always envy something we think we don't have, especially as a adolescents, when we are too sensitive abouto others' judgement.

So I tell her that it would be ok, "You are fine whether your hair is thin or thick, because n. Nobody is perfect.

FurthermoreAlso, your hair quantity doeisn't breaking the law or disturbing anyone, so, take easy. don't worry about it."

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Jan. 21, 2022

0

Thank you.

Envy

It is sunny today.

I've neverhaven't seen sunshine for more than a week, so I decided to go ridinge a bike.

Or better, "I decided to go for a bike ride."

In the afternoon, I go ridingrode to a town with a teenager named Zhu.

We chats when wted while we were riding.

I tellold her that one of her classmates lives nearby, because I've bumped into her twice.

In tThe first time, I couldn't recognize her because I didn't know her well.

In tThe second time, I also couldn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead.

Zhu sayid, "oh, her forehead, which I envy it so much."

I amwas so surprised.

Then she continued, "because my forehead is too big (or large)."

Both are correct, but big sounds more natural to me.

I tellold her that her forehead is quite pretty.

She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse."

Hmm, "top hair" isn't something I'd say, but I get what you mean.

I also think her hair is normal as well.

"also" or "as well," you don't need both.

Well, maybe we always envy something we think we don't have, especially as a adolescent, when we are too sensitive about others' judgement.

So I tellold her that it would be's ok whether your hair is thin or thick, because nobody is perfect.

Furthermore, your hair quantity doesn't break the law or disturb anyone, so, take easy.

Feedback

Stories about your life experiances should be written in past tense. Thank you for sharing!

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Jan. 22, 2022

0

She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse."

Hmm, "top hair" isn't something I'd say, but I get what you mean.

because I don't know how to descibe it accurately

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Jan. 22, 2022

0

She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse."

Hmm, "top hair" isn't something I'd say, but I get what you mean.

because I don't know how to descibe it accurately

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Jan. 22, 2022

0

Thank you.

Envy

It is sunny today.

I've never seen sunshine for more than a week, so I decide to go riding a bike.

I've never haven't seen sunshine forin more than a week, so I decide to go riding aride my bike.

I've neverhaven't seen sunshine for more than a week, so I decided to go ridinge a bike.

In the afternoon, I go riding to a town with a teenager Zhu.

In the afternoon, I go ridingride to a town with a teenager named Zhu.

In the afternoon, I go ridingrode to a town with a teenager named Zhu.

We chats when we riding.

We chats whilen we ridinge.

We chats when wted while we were riding.

I tell her that one of her classmate live nearby, because I bumped into her twice.

I tell her that one of her classmates lives nearby, because I bumped into her twice.

I tellold her that one of her classmates lives nearby, because I've bumped into her twice.

In the first time, I couldn't recognize her because I didn't know her.

In tThe first time, I couldidn't recognize her because I didn't know her.

In tThe first time, I couldn't recognize her because I didn't know her well.

In the second time, I also couldn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead.

In tThe second time, I also couldidn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead.

In tThe second time, I also couldn't recognize her for the same reason, but I remembered that she has a very small forehead.

Zhu say, "oh, her forehead, which I envy so much."

Zhu says, "oOh, her forehead, which I envy so much."

Zhu sayid, "oh, her forehead, which I envy it so much."

I am so surprised.

I amwas so surprised.

Then she continue, "because my forehead is too big (or large)."

Then she continues, "because mMy forehead is too big (or large)."

Then she continued, "because my forehead is too big (or large)."

I tell her that her forehead is quite pretty.

I tellold her that her forehead is quite pretty.

She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse."

She explains again, "mMy forehead is ok, but my top hair is a bit sparse on the top."

She explains again, "my forehead is ok, but my top hair is sparse."

I also think her hair is normal as well.

I also think her hair is normal as well.

Well, maybe we always envy something we think we don't have, especially as a adolescent, when we are too sensitive about others' judgement.

Well, maybe we always envy something we think we don't have, especially as a adolescents, when we are too sensitive abouto others' judgement.

So I tell her that it would be ok whether your hair is thin or thick, because nobody is perfect.

So I tell her that it would be ok, "You are fine whether your hair is thin or thick, because n. Nobody is perfect.

So I tellold her that it would be's ok whether your hair is thin or thick, because nobody is perfect.

Furthermore, your hair quantity doesn't break the law or disturb anyone, so, take easy.

FurthermoreAlso, your hair quantity doeisn't breaking the law or disturbing anyone, so, take easy. don't worry about it."

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