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Day Three

ponta 360 · June 3

Prompt: "PROMPT FOR JUNE 2021 WRITING CHALLENGE: How would your friends and family describe you?" by Jacque. Like this prompt? Write your own response here.

Target Language - English

I guess the impression for myself is quite different between my friends and my family. I have an elder sister, and she has been well behaved. I was not like that, so my family would say I am naughty. Moreover, my friends who know me when I lived in my hometown would say I am irresponsible about studying, and eager to my club activity. I was not interested in learning at that time. I often slept during classes and got bad grades on many subjects. On the other hand, my friends who got to know me within these two years would say I am diligent and disciplined. This is because I changed my mind and started to work hard.


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Correction 1 / 1
mushie 0 June 3, 2021
I guess the impression for myself is quite different between my friends and my family.

I guessthink the impression ofor myself is quite different between my friends and my family.

  • Correction Type:
  • Usage
  • Stylistic
"I guess" is okay to use here, but here it might be better to use "I think" - it feels a bit weird to start off with "I guess", since it's more casual. (Never use it in formal writing, like essays.) Since a journal is pretty casual, you can use "I guess" when you want to add on to something you have said previously. For instance:
"My family thinks I am irresponsible. I guess this is because I always got bad grades."
"My family thinks I'm naughty. I guess it's true."

"impression of [something]", not "impression for [something]"

Other suggestions:
"I think my friends and family have different impressions of me."
"I guess you could say that my friends and family have different impressions of me." <-- a little more natural, if you want to start with "I guess"
I have an elder sister, and she has been well behaved.

I have an elder sister, and she has beenwho is more well -behaved than me.

  • Correction Type:
  • Usage
"she has been well behaved" sounds strange here... I changed it so that it fits better in your paragraph here, comparing you and your sister.
I was not like that, so my family would say I am naughty.
Moreover, my friends who know me when I lived in my hometown would say I am irresponsible about studying, and eager to my club activity.

Moreover, my friends who knoew me when I lived in my hometown would say that I am irresponsible about studying, and eager to participate in my club activity.

  • Correction Type:
  • Grammar
  • Usage
know -> knew (when referring to something in the past)
I was not interested in learning at that time.
I often slept during classes and got bad grades on many subjects.
On the other hand, my friends who got to know me within these two years would say I am diligent and disciplined.
This is because I changed my mind and started to work hard.

Overall feedback & comment:

Cool, I wonder how you changed your mind... good job, continue working hard then!
Comment added on 06/03/2021