Oct. 4, 2021
Geographically, mountains in Korea cover more than 70 percent.
So many Korean have many outdoor activities there.
First, people climb the mountains.
The shape of mountains in Korea are Not difficult to climb.
So not only adult, but also children go there to enjoy climbing.
Especially in fall, cool weather gives the mountains a makeover.
Red and yellow colors of the mountains are so beautiful, so I love to climb there in fall.
Next, there are a lot of streams between mountains.
In summer, other people go to the streams and enjoy swimming.
I usually go there with my kids hoping to make their good memories.
Plus, in winter people go there for winter activities like skiing or snowboarding.
In fact, I liked snowboarding, but after I got serious injuries, I haven’t played it.
Lastly, some people make their camp in the forest and stay the night in the nature.
After noticing smell and sound of nature, It can relive their stresses .
Meanwhile, I look up the night sky and see the beautiful stars which I can’t see in the cities.
It is so beautiful that no one can forget the moment.
Activities Inin the Mountains
Geographically, mountains inMore than 70% of Korea is cover more than 70 percented with mountains.
SoBecause of this, many Korean havedo many outdoor activities there.
Using "many" twice is awkward, so I would recommend choosing just one place to use it. You could also say "Because of this, many Koreans do various activities there."
First, people climb the mountains.
The shape of mountains in Korea are Nis not difficult to climb.
Another way to say this is "The mountains in Korea are not steep, making them easy to climb."
So not only adults, but also children, go there to enjoy climbing.
Especially in fall,The cool weather of the fall gives the mountains a makeover.
RThe red and yellow colors of the mountains are sovery beautiful, so I love to climb there in fall.
You can still say "so beautiful" but it is a little awkward with the word "so" again shortly afterward.
Next, there are a lot of streams between mountains.
In summer, other people go to the streams and enjoy swimming.
Since you also go to the streams, it is not just other people
I usually go there with my kids, hoping for them to make their good memories.
You could also say "I usually go there with my kids, going to make good memories with them."
Plus, in winter, people go there for winter activities like skiing or snowboarding.
In fact, I liked snowboarding, but afterI haven't done it since I got a serious injuries, I haven’t played ity.
Lastly, some people make their camp in the forest and stay the night in the nature.
After noticingExperiencing the smell and sound of nature, It can relieve their stresses .
Meanwhile, I look up the night sky and seelook at the beautiful stars, which I can’t see in the cities.
It is so beautiful that no one can forget the moment.
Feedback
Nice job! You have a great variety of sentence structure!
Activities in mountains |
Geographically, mountains in Korea cover More than 70 percent |
So many Korean have Many outdoor activities there. |
First, people climb the mountains |
The shape of mountains are Not difficult to claim |
So not only adult but also children go there to enjoy climbing |
Especially in fall, cool weather **gives** the mountains **a makeover**. |
red and yellow colors of mountains are so beautiful. |
I love to climb there in fall |
Next, there are A lot of streams between mountains |
In summer, Other people go to the streams and enjoy swimming |
I usually go there with my kids **hoping to** make their good memories. |
Plus, |
In winter People go there For Winter activities. |
They Play skiing or Snow boarding. |
**In fact**, I liked snow boarding, but after I got serious injuries, I haven’t played it |
Lastly, Some people Make their camp in the forest and stay night in the nature. |
After **noticing** smell and sound of nature, It can relive their stresses . |
**Meanwhile**, I look up the night sky and see the beautiful stars which I can’t see in the cities. |
It is **so beautiful that** no one can forget the moment. |
Activities In Mountains Activities |
Geographically, mountains in Korea cover more than 70 percent.
|
So many Korean have many outdoor activities there.
Using "many" twice is awkward, so I would recommend choosing just one place to use it. You could also say "Because of this, many Koreans do various activities there."
|
First, people climb the mountains. |
The shape of mountains in Korea are Not difficult to climb. The shape of mountains in Korea Another way to say this is "The mountains in Korea are not steep, making them easy to climb."
|
So not only adult, but also children go there to enjoy climbing. So not only adults, but also children, go there to enjoy climbing. |
Especially in fall, cool weather gives the mountains a makeover.
|
Red and yellow colors of the mountains are so beautiful, so I love to climb there in fall.
You can still say "so beautiful" but it is a little awkward with the word "so" again shortly afterward.
|
Next, there are a lot of streams between mountains. |
In summer, other people go to the streams and enjoy swimming. In summer, Since you also go to the streams, it is not just other people
|
I usually go there with my kids hoping to make their good memories. I usually go there with my kids, hoping for them to make You could also say "I usually go there with my kids, going to make good memories with them."
|
Plus, in winter people go there for winter activities like skiing or snowboarding. Plus, in winter, people go there for winter activities like skiing or snowboarding. |
In fact, I liked snowboarding, but after I got serious injuries, I haven’t played it. In fact, I liked snowboarding, but |
Lastly, some people make their camp in the forest and stay the night in the nature. Lastly, some people |
After noticing smell and sound of nature, It can relive their stresses .
|
Meanwhile, I look up the night sky and see the beautiful stars which I can’t see in the cities. Meanwhile, I look up the night sky and |
It is so beautiful that no one can forget the moment. |
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